Jose Canseco to make MMA debut

This isn't celebrity boxing Jose. Reports on mmmajunkie.com confirm that Mr. 40-40 Jose Canseco will make his MMA debut on May 26th in Japan's DREAM organization. Canseco will compete in the 8-Man Open Weight tournament (which is insane own its own) that features Gegard Mousasi, Mark Hunt, Bob Sapp, Sokoudjou... some serious fighters. Jose squares off with the 7'2'' Hong Man Choi. This is going to be a freak show. If you got HDNet you can watch this debactle. There are some other great fights on this card, with real fighters, but this is going to be the most interesting.

Hong Man Choi is just 1-2; but his 2 losses came to Fedor and Cro Cop, so safe to say he'll be thrilled to get in the ring with one of the Bash Brothers. Man Choi is the monster on the left below.

Goodluck Jose.

-Keefe

Cleveland Rocks?

Well LeBron James is already in the 2nd round and looks ready to make a trip back to the NBA Finals, and the Indians snapped the Red Sox 11 game winning streak (with a big assist to the dreadful Julio Lugo), but those teams are still in Cleveland. Enjoy this:



-Keefe

Oh and for the record, how good are Pierce and Rondo? And what a series. I would write about it, but everyone else is, not sure what to add, except wow.

Rich Reviews: Obsessed

In a word: Decent

In several words: On the surface, Obsessed seems like a jv 2009 version of Fatal Attraction, which is still keeping men from cheating on their wives to this day. But of course, it is different than that. I'm not going to give anything away here. Essentially a successful guy is married to Beyonce and they have a 2 year old son. Ali Larter is a temp at the guy's office and is instantly interested in him. She's a bit crazy, Beyonce is a bit jealous, and you've got yourself movie. The guy finds himself caught in the middle of Ali Larter and Beyonce, not sure how many people are feeling sorry for him.

The film (#1 at the box office this weekend) banked on the following: 1. Women bringing their guys to it, so they can say, "you better not cheat on me, cause this will happen" and 2. Guys wanting to go to see Ali Larter and Beyonce. In this regard, it worked on both fronts. There were couples, groups of girls, and groups of dudes at the Sunday evening show I took in.

Ali Larter is worth the price of omission. Unless it's night time at an overpriced city theater. Then maybe you should wait til video, or find a cheaper matinee. Bottom line it was predictable and hurt itself with a PG-13 rating. Sure they'll probably end up making more money at the box office, because a larger amount of people are allowed to see it, but I think it suffered. Fatal Attraction sure as hell wasn't rated PG-13, and this shouldn't have been either.

The best part, beside the crazy Ali Larter, was unfortunately the previews. Check out the trailers for Orphan and Drag Me To Hell. Damn they look scary.

Orphan:

Drag Me to Hell:

World Champion Cup Stacker

I got home this morning and my father had me pull up the DVR. On Fox News Boston this morning they had a World Champion Cup Stacker, some little kid like, 7 years old. Seems somewhat stupid, not newsworthy and semi retarded to be watching, right? Wrong. Watch this...it's amazing...



-Bess

The Worst and Most Insulting Trade Offer Ever

Today I received a trade offer in one of my ESPN Fantasy Leagues. A GM represnting "An Entire Army of Jew Robots" offered to send me and our team ("Kenny Fuckin Powers") Alex Rios and Scott Baker in exchange for our star OF Manny Ramirez. Talk about living up to your team name. I was so embarrassed and insulted by this trade offer, that not only did I sent him a long, detailed response breaking down my assessment of the trade and why I would not accept it, but I also posted the e-mail on the league page to give the rest of the league an idea as to how stupid, moronic and incompetent this man is as the GM of a fantasy baseball team. To quote Ashley Schaeffer, Ashley Schaeffer BMW, "You'd have to be damn straight retarded" to accept this deal. My e-mail to this moron is below:


I'm actually insulted by this trade offer. To the point where I'm not even sure I want to consider a counter offer. You're asking for a perennial .300/30/100 guy in exchange for the following:
Rios: A) never driven in 100 runs; B) hit over 20 HR once (24 in 2007); C) hit over .300 once (.302 in 2006). I recognize the steals are a nice asset, but I'd be remiss to ignore the fact that he's hitting .206 with ZERO homeruns and one stolen base to go with 7 RBI so far in 2009. This is while batting in the middle of an offense that is currently ranked 3rd in average, 1st in RBI, 3rd in runs and 3rd in homeruns in ALL of Major League Baseball.
Baker: First start of the season - 4.0 IP, 6 ER; Second start of the season (Today) - 4.2 IP, 6 ER. In fact, I couldn't help but notice that you didn't even start Baker today against Boston. Shows how confident you are in his ability as a pitcher.
You offered Brett Myers or Armando Gallaraga instead of Baker. Myers has an ERA over 5 right now, a career ERA in the mid 4's and his ERA has gone up every year since 2005. Galarraga isn't bad, but after everything I said about Rios, those two won't do it together. In fact if you even wanted a chance at this trade, it would've been LESS insulting to offer up Galarraga up front. At least the dude is pitching well right now and has some upside. That's a guy you sell high. As far as Rios and the rest of the garbage you came at me with, those are guys that I'll buy low...buying low does not pertain to Manny Ramirez. Especially when he's hitting .340 with 3 bombs and 10 RBI, including an 8 for 16 run in his last 4 games with all three of those bombs coming over that span.
Bottom line: I can't help but feel you think I'm some sort of asshole. That being said, I'd like to decline your offer...courteously, of course.

What are we buying: A boxing match or a used car?

I came across this commercial last night for the upcoming "boxing match" between Tim Sylvia and Ray Mercer. To give you some background on how hideous an idea this match is, it was actually declined sanctioning by the New Jersey State Athletic Commission. It was originally supposed to take place in Atlantic City, but they wanted no part of it, and for good reason. Check out the commercial, it's awful. I can't tell if they're selling a boxing match or a used car here. You gotta love watching Sylvia hitting the mitts and nearly whiffing on the last one, while "Merciless" pecks away at the heavy bag like a malnourished woodpecker. Not to mention their speaking parts, which really brought it all together. Sylvia might be the biggest geek on the planet, both literally and figuratively.



What's more awkward, Sylvia in this promo, or his appearance on Blind Date?



And tell me the voiceover doesn't sound like something out of a monster truck commercial. SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!



A free can of Natty Light. Mmmm. BE HERE OR BE QUEER!!!

-Bess

Opey's New Music Video

Good friend of the Sports Brief, Opey Tha Poet, has just released his latest music video. Please check it out and tell your friends about it. And hey you might just recognize some of the extras.



Nice work, B. Although I thought I could have found more face time... any face time. Maybe the next one. I got some ideas... The actual youtube version is a little wider if you want to check that out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtTAJa6Wpws&feature=channel

It's clip day here at the Brief. Scroll down to see Besse's al ma mater make it on ESPN Top 10 plays.

-Keefe

NU Baseball makes ESPN's Top Plays

As you may or may not know, I was a five year member and senior captain of the Northeastern Baseball program. And so it was a great pleasure to watch today's Top Plays on Sportscenter and see Northeastern involved in the #2 play, despite the fact they were on the wrong end of it. Senior Mike Tamsin, who is the all-time hits leader and currently poised to finish with the highest career average in program history, hit a tremendously deep fly to left center field. URI center fielder Kenny Burns (no relation to the documentary guy, I don't think) tracked it to the wall, then proceeded to not only rob Tamsin of a homerun, but plow THROUGH the fence as well. Enjoy the clip of the play and the ridiculously long time it took for them to close the gate. High comedy.

Also, let it be noted that JT Ross tossed a complete game 1-hitter in this contest. No walks and like 12 K's. Apparently the only hit came after a dropped foul pop up. I bet someone is on suicide watch today...way to ruin a perfect game.



And for the record, the #1 play on this countdown? Ray Allen's game winning jumper against the Bulls. Well deserved. C's will win this series because of that shot.
-Bess

UFC 97 Results

Undercard:
Eliot Marshall beat Vinny Magalhaes by unanimous decision
T.J. Grant beat Ryo Chonan by split decision
Mark Bocek beat David Bielkheden by first-round submission (rear-naked)
Ed Herman beat David Loiseau by unanimous decision
Nate Quarry beat Jason MacDonald by first-round TKO (strikes)
Denis Kang beat Xavier Foupa-Pokam by unanimous decision

Main Card:
Luiz Cane beat Steve Cantwell by unanimous decision
Cheick Kongo beat Antoni Hardonk by second-round TKO (strikes)
Krzysztof Soszynski beat Brian Stann by first-round submission (kimura)
Mauricio Shogun Rua beat Chuck Liddell by first-round TKO (strikes)
Sam Stout beat Matt Wiman by unanimous decision
Anderson Silva beat Thales Leites by unanimous decision

Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg certainly seem to believe its the last time we've seen Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell, after getting knocked the hell out by Shogun. Who knows. I've seen Ken Shamrock and Tank Abbott far to many times, and speaking of that Matt Hughes battles Matt Serra next month at UFC 98. That one actually should be decent, but still, you can't ever say in MMA that a guy is done. Dudes come back faster than Brett Favre.

Quick comments from the fights, Kang and Quarry get important wins on the undercard. Could they see each other in the future? Luiz Cane is the real deal at light heavyweight, add him to the ridiculous list of talented 205 pound fighters the UFC has to offer. Kongo is enormous. Shogun will be champ, it's just a matter of time.

Finally, Anderson Silva was frustrated by the "effort" put forth by Leites. Bottom line Leites just didn't want to be embarrassed, so he just layed around and did not attack. Meanwhile the fans in the Bell Centre were chanting "GSP, GSP!" Is that next for the Spider? He just broke the record for most consecutive wins in the UFC (9), the previous record of 8 was held by Jon Fitch and Hall of Famer Royce Gracie. Check out Silva's 9 victories: Chris Leben, Rich Franklin (2), Travis Lutter, Nate Marquardt, Dan Henderon, James Irvin (at 205), Patrick Cote, and Thales Leites. Not a gimmie on that list. But what should he do next? There's not a sinlge 185 pound guy who should be in the ring with him. It's either GSP or one of the many great light heavys. We'll have to wait and see.

-Keefe

NBA Awards '08-'09

The NBA season is over, and the playoffs will begin tomorrow, with or without KG. So it has become a tradition for me to unveil my NBA regular season awards, with or without KG. I'm not going to do an elaborate break down for each award, because 1. you probably wouldn't read it and 2. I'm still bummed out about Garnett. If you have questions or comments leave a... (for lack of a better word) comment at the bottom and I'll get back to you. On with the show...

MVP
1. Dwyane Wade, Heat
2. LeBron James, Cavs
3. Kobe Bryant, Lakers
4. Chris Paul, Hornets
5. Paul Pierce, Celtics

Honorable Mention:
Dwight Howard, Magic
Brandon Roy, Blazers
Chauncey Billups, Nuggets

Yeah I went there, D-Wade is my MVP. I know everyone in the world has LeBron, because he's the best player in the world and on arguably the best team in the world. Well, Wade has a far weaker supporting cast, and is the only player in the league to average 30+ points per game. Not many people thought the Heat would be a playoff team (I did check the archieves), and he got them to a 5 seed. In addition to finishing 1st in points, Wade was 2nd in steals, 8th in assists, and 16th in block shots. That's right 16th in the league in blocked shots.

LeBron led his team in total points, rebounds, assists, steals, and blocks. Only the 4th time in league history has that happened. Dave Cowens, Scottie Pippen, and Kevin Garnett are the only others to accomplish that ridiculous feat. Yeah fine, he might be the MVP.

Alright no more break down after picks.

Defensive Player of the Year
1. Dwight Howard, Magic
2. Dwyane Wade, Heat
3. Kobe Bryant, Lakers
4. LeBron James, Cavs
5. Gerald Wallace, Bobcats

(that will also be my All-NBA Defensive Team)

6th Man of the Year
1. Jason Terry, Mavericks
2. Nate Robinson, Knicks
3. J.R. Smith, Nuggets
4. Michael Beasley, Heat
5. Travis Outlaw, Blazers

Rookie of the Year/ 1st Team All-NBA Rookie
1. Derrick Rose, Bulls
2. O.J. Mayo, Grizzlies
3. Russell Westbrook, Thunder
4. Brook Lopez, Nets
5. Eric Gordon, Clippers

2nd Team All-NBA Rookie
Michael Beasley, Heat
D.J. Augustin, Bobcats
Kevin Love, Timberwolves
Mario Chalmers, Heat
Rudy Fernandez, Blazers

What a deep rookie class. Those are my top 10, but I'm leaving out Marc Gasol, Jason Thompson, Anthony Morrow, Courtney Lee, and even Greg Oden.

Most Improved is a Joke, I will not even waste my time on it. It is the biggest slap in the face award in the history of awards. If you have ever won a "Most Improved Award" just know that it is a nice way of them saying that you sucked before. Moving on.

Coach of the Year
1. Rick Adelman, Rockets
2. Nate McMillan, Blazers
3. George Karl, Nuggets
4. Erik Spoelstra, Heat
5. Mike Brown, Cavs

All- NBA 1st Team
Dwyane Wade, Heat
Kobe Bryant, Lakers
LeBron James, Cavs
Paul Pierce, Celtics
Dwight Howard, Magic

All-NBA 2nd Team
Chris Paul, Hornets
Brandon Roy, Blazers
Dirk Nowitzki, Mavericks
Tim Duncan, Spurs
Yao Ming, Rockets

All-NBA 3rd Team
Tony Parker, Spurs
Chauncey Billups, Nuggets
Carmelo Anthony, Nuggets
Kevin Durant, Thunder
Pau Gasol, Lakers

-Keefe

Quest for G

As Keefe posted yesterday, KG is likely out for the playoffs. I certainly agree that laying in bed with Kathy Bates standing over me might be a more comforting feeling than this. But what are ya gonna do? That being said, I was out having dinner and drinks with my buddy Kevin last night and the top of KG and his "Quest for G" came up. I thought the video on YouTube was popular, but apparently it's not as popular as I thought because neither he nor the bartender had seen it. It's high comedy, and something worth sharing. In fact, I'm wondering, have I shared this video already on here? Regardless, watch it anyway, it's worth the nine minutes of your time. I'm not sure what's funnier, the goat at the beginning and KG's reaction when he knows his name, "Ego", or Game 7. Check it out, and please note KG's supporting cast...ridiculous.



Needless to say, let's pray that "hope springs", and KG is healthy enough to return late in the playoffs to once again lead his troops against the might "Game 7."

KG Likely Out for Playoffs

3 Words: Kobe-LeBron-Finals.

With the news this morning that Kevin Garnett is likely out for the playoffs with his bum knee, leads to the following thoughts...

But I still believe the C's can beat the Bulls and get past the Magic. I'm not sold on this Orlando team. It's going to be tough, but Boston still has Pierce, Ray, and Rondo. I don't know. Stay tuned.

-Keefe

The All- Waiver Wire Team

The start of baseball season means the beginning of the longest fantasy sport in the history of fantasy sports. It's less Fantasy Baseball and more a part time job... that only pays if you win. In fact I'm sure many people spend more time adjusting their rosters, scanning the free agent pool, and coming up with whacky trades then they do at their part-time job. And in this economy, forget about it. We're a week in to the season, and some players that went late to undrafted get off to a hot start and make the guy or girl who picked them look like a genius. We all know they do not always last. But for entertainment purposes only, let's take a look at an entire lineup of players who are off to Johnny Storm like starts, that no one saw coming...

C: Brandon Inge, DET (catcher eligible, you know that)
1B: Nick Swisher, NYY (he even pitched last night and struck out Gabe Kapler)
2B: Emilio Bonifacio, FLA (his opening day put him on the map, and I'm counting on him)
3B: Marco Scutaro, TOR (rather than going Inge again here, Scuts plays 2B, SS, 3B)
SS: Jason Bartlett, TB (guy know for his glove is swingin a bat... right now)
OF: Adam Lind, TOR (former NH Fisher Cats is rippin it up)
OF: Nyjer Morgan, PIT (who? no clue, check the stats)
OF: Randy Winn, SF (old guy off to a hot start)

SP: Kyle Lohse, STL (2-0 with a CG shutout)
SP: Zach Duke, PIT (how long can he keep this up?)
SP: Kevin Millwood, TEX (.64 ERA in 2 starts, still a FA in most leagues)

RP: Heath Bell, SD (4 saves and 0 earned runs out of the gate)
RP: David Aardsma, SEA (2 saves in the first week, and he's not even the closer)

We see it each and every year. Some of these guys will fade as soon as next week, others will have a surprise season. Take a chance if the price is right. At the same time make sure you don't drop a guy who gets red hot soon as you dump him. That's what makes it tricky. Goodluck out there.

-Keefe

Pick-Up Hoops Anyone

These guys did a nice job coming up with all the "that-guys" from pick up hoops. I wish I thought of it myself, but nonetheless enjoy this.




-Keefe

Random Saturday musings

So this morning my brother had his tryout for Babe Ruth. I can tell you a few things after sitting there for a couple hours completely miserable: A) it's cold as shit out; B) this weather still sucks; and C) this league is a joke. They took the kids through the most unorganized infield practice, then set up a pitching machine to throw BP at 50mph. I've had my brother hitting 80-85 all winter, and this is what we walk out there to? To top it off, I should've known things were heading south when the guy rolled out the pitching machine on the actual wheels that fire out the baseballs. I know it's heavy, but you're not indoors and it's been raining all week guy. Nice to see you really thought that through. I know it's heavy, but for the sake of not getting dirt, grass and water all over the wheels, have someone help you lift it and carry it out there to the bump.

Anyway, in an effor to thaw out, I got home, plopped myself on the couch and pondered life over a couple egg sandwiches and some ESPN.com. It was there that I came across Sportscenter's Top 10 plays from last night. The top play, rightfully so, featured Randall Bailey, a lightweight boxer who has challenged for a title and fought some solid competition over the course of his 45 professional matches. Last night, he took on Francisco Figueroa, a fringe contender who came in riding a 12 fight win streak. Thanks to a Bailey right hand, that streak, much like all of mine in Streak for Cash, has come to an end. Please enjoy:



No question that's a candidate for KO of the year. And that will serve as this week's KO clip of the week.

Moving on, Troy Murphy did his best to fill the stat sheet last night in one fell swoop. I don't know if he got the assist on this as well, but he should've. What a play...



Somewhere, Ricky Davis is smiling proudly...



Enjoy the Final Four tonight. I've got a bet going with my buddy BJal. We've been picking against the spread for every game of the tournament so far. I'm down 2 with 3 to go, so I've gotta win out. I picked Villanova +7 and Michigan State +4.5. I don't like either pick, but obviously what I've been doing hasn't worked so far, so whatever. Loser takes the other out for dinner and drinks in the near future. Regardless of who wins, it's going to be a shitshow. Have a weekend.

-Bess

2009 MLB Pre-season Predictions

Keefe’s picks

AL East
1. Rays
2. Red Sox
3. Yankees
4. Blue Jays
5. Orioles

AL Central
1. Twins
2. Indians
3. Royals
4. White Sox
5. Tigers

AL West
1. Angels
2. A’s
3. Mariners
4. Rangers

NL East
1. Mets
2. Phillies
3. Marlins
4. Braves
5. Nationals

NL Central
1. Cubs
2. Brewers
3. Astros
4. Cardinals
5. Reds
6. Pirates

NL West
1. Dodgers
2. D-Backs
3. Rockies
4. Giants
5. Padres

Playoffs

AL:
Rays over Twins
Red Sox over Angels

Rays over Red Sox

NL:
Cubs over D-Backs
Dodgers over Mets

Dodgers over Cubs

RAYS over Dodgers in World Series

AWARDS:

AL MVP: Grady Sizemore, Indians
NL MVP: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers or David Wright, Mets

AL Cy Young: Jon Lester, Red Sox
NL Cy Young: Dan Haren, D-Backs

AL ROY: Travis Snider, Blue Jays
NL ROY: Cameron Maybin, Marlins

AL Manager: Trey Hillman, Royals
NL Manager: Joe Torre, Dodgers

Besse’s picks

AL East
1. Red Sox
2. Rays
3. Yankees
4. Blue Jays
5. Orioles

AL Central
1. Indians
2. Twins
3. Royals
4. Tigers
5. White Sox

AL West
1. Angels
2. Rangers
3. A’s
4. Mariners

NL East
1. Phillies
2. Mets
3. Marlins
4. Braves
5. Nationals

NL Central
1. Cubs
2. Cardinals
3. Astros
4. Reds
5. Brewers
6. Pirates

NL West
1. Dodgers
2. D-Backs
3. Giants
4. Rockies
5. Padres

Playoffs

AL:

Red Sox over Indians
Rays over Angels

Red Sox over Rays

NL:
Mets over Dodgers
Cubs over Phillies

Mets over Cubs

RED SOX over Mets in World Series

AWARDS:

AL MVP: Josh Hamilton, Rangers
NL MVP: Manny Ramirez, Dodgers

AL Cy Young: Josh Beckett, Red Sox
NL Cy Young: Ricky Nolasco, Marlins

AL ROY: Matt Wieters, Orioles
NL ROY: Tommy Hanson, Braves

AL Manager: Eric Wedge, Indians
NL Manager: Jerry Manuel, Mets

There you have it. The 2009 picks from Keefe and Besse at The Sports Brief. What do you think? Although we do have some picks that are similar, I like that we both have different World Series matchups and, for the most part, different award winners. I believe Manny as NL MVP is the only pick that's the same for us. Should be interesting to see how it all unfolds. The AL East is going to be brutal, but fun to watch. Enjoy the season!

-Bess