Top 10 Sports Movies

-Keefe

These lists have been around longer than Julio Franco, but like Franco, are always a good time. With Blades of Glory doing so well at the box office, (I haven’t seen it because I believe Napoleon Dynamite should stick to Napoleon Dynamite, get a sitcom or something. Will Ferrell will be great I’m sure, but looks like a renter to me.) I decided to make this list knowing there are so many sports being played out on screen. Figure skating, swimming, bowling, NASCAR, golf, boxing, and there are even movies made about hockey. My list is still dominated by three of the big four (football, basketball, baseball… waiting on some inspirational UFC movies.) You wouldn’t watch a “based on a true story” Matt Serra or Tito Ortiz? The Ultimate Knockout DVDs don’t count for this either. Hope you enjoy my list, I understand that no two lists will be alike, but please send an e-mail or leave a comment. Let’s start out with some “Kevin Dyson’s,” close but just a little short.

Honorable Mentions:

Rudy (1993): There are two truths about this movie. 1) Its one of the best sports films of all time. 2) We’ve all played on teams with guys like Rudy, and they are so obnoxious, annoying, and often make you look bad for “not practicing like it’s the f’n Super Bowl.” But this film paired a young Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, so we can thank Rudy for the likes of Swingers and Made.

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004): Who would have thought Vince Vaughn would be on this list twice? Classic story line here as the huge underdog (Average Joe’s), takes down the colossal favorite (Globo Gym Purple Cobras.) It’s worked so well before, Rocky vs. Drago, and USA vs. U.S.S.R. Very relatable too, not everyone has played high school football in Texas, or on a professional women’s baseball team during the War, but everyone has played dodgeball.

Rounders (1998): Not sure if poker is a sport, but tell that to ESPN. Great movie that helped the surge in poker playing in college dorm rooms, online, and on tv. Wait a minute… damn it Rounders.

The Sandlot (1993): “You’re killin’ me Smalls.” I can’t remember a day where I didn’t say that. Anyone who was playing little league when this movie came out loves it. Ever wonder what these guys are doing now? We know about Smalls and Benny, but I bet Tommy and Timmy Timmons went off the deep end in high school. What about Ham? We can only imagine.

Other great sports movies that didn’t crack the top 10.

Rocky (1976), Bad News Bears (1976), Kingpin (1996), Caddyshack (1980), Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006), Miracle (2004), A League of Their Own (1992), The Big Lebowski (1998)- this is one of the all-time greats, but not really enough bowling to make the top 10.


10. Varsity Blues (1999): This movie has a little bit of everything, a hardass coach, likeable players, over bearing parents, a stripper teacher, and some whacky in-game action. You never tried to run the oopty-oop after watching it? I bet Wendell, who really should have gotten the ball in the red-zone, if it wasn’t for their racist coach, is still playing whether in the Arena or over in Europe. He had the most potential of anyone not named Lance Harbor. Tweeter was just too small to get it done at the next level, and that’s assuming he didn’t get kicked off the team.

9. Happy Gilmore (1996): As much as I enjoyed Caddyshack, I think I like the golf more in Happy Gilmore. An outrage I know, but the confrontations between Happy and Shooter and Happy and Bob Barker are fantastic. Both McGavin and Gilmore are great individual players, but they would kill the Ryder Cup team. You think Tiger and Phil is bad, well Phil never tried to buy Tiger’s mom’s house when it went up for auction. There’s your sequel; Happy Gilmore 2: The Ryder Cup.

8. Rocky IV (1985): Wow. This movie was about so much more than just boxing or just Rocky. The Cold War. USA vs. Russia. Rocky Balboa vs. Ivan Drago. Rock avenges the death of his buddy Apollo Creed, at the hands of the enormous Russian. The odds were stacked against Balboa, and the fight was in Russia to boot. Rocky, of course, takes a beating but isn’t beat. The crowd, the Russian crowd, rallies behind him, before the famous line, “he’s cut, the Russian is cut.” The Cold War was over. Thank you Rocky. Side note: how long after watching this movie did Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, and the rest of them decide to use steroids? It didn’t’ work for Drago and it won’t work for you. Sure he beat Apollo (Big Mac hit 70 HRs), but he couldn’t get past Rocky (or into the Hall of Fame.)

7. Remember the Titans (2000): High School football has provided many great films, and this might be the best of the bunch. The actor who plays the head coach goes a long way. Jon Voight, Billy Bob Thornton, Ed Harris, Craig T. Nelson have all done it, but none as well as Denzel Washington. A true story about a team that has to overcome integration that makes you laugh and makes you cry… you know if you are someone who would cry during a movie.

6. White Men Can’t Jump (1992): A lot of sports movies walk a fine line of believable/ unbelievable. (See: The Natural.) But with great performances by Blade and Woody, the hustling streetball lifestyle looks realistic. The real question here is even though Billy Ho can’t jump, can white men jump? Well Brent Barry won a dunk contest. Dan Majerle was known as “Thunder Dan.” Tom Chambers had some sick dunks, but he was also like 6’10’’. Get back to me on that one.

5. Hoop Dreams (1994): This just isn’t one of the best sports documentaries ever, but simply one of best documentaries ever made. You really feel like you know William Gates and Arthur Agee, and it hurts when they struggle. Watching Gates injure his knee at a camp with all the best high school players (including Chris Webber, Jalen Rose, Juwon Howard), and in front of all the well known division 1 coaches is just awful. Both Gates and Agee were great high school players, but neither one “made it.” This film shows how difficult it really is to become a college basketball player, and the unlikelihood of turning pro. Not all sports movies have a happy ending.

4. Hoosiers (1986): I told you not all sports movies have a happy ending. Well, most do. Coach Dale is legendary, and Jimmy Chitwood is a hero. Let’s see, if Jimmy was in high school in 1954, he would have been pro during the ‘60s. How would he stack up against Oscar Robertson, Jerry West, and Elgin Baylor? The hoop is the same height in the Hickory gym as it is in the Boston Garden. I think Jimmy would have done just fine. Here’s a little SAT analogy for you that gives another reason why this film works. High school football : Texas as high school basketball : ____.

3. Blue Chips (1994): Don’t know why this film doesn’t get more recognition. Maybe sports fans want to pretend stuff like this wouldn’t happen. It does. (Jim Harrick got Lamar Odom to go to Rhode Island.) Illegal recruiting, point shaving, “friends of the program,” a guy failing a class called TV… man you got to love it. The cameos are unreal: Larry Bird, Bobby Knight, Rick Pitino, Jerry Tarkanian, Jim Boeheim, Dickie V, players like Rick Fox, Bobby Hurley, Calbert Chaney, Allan Houston, and many more. Not to mention Bob Cousy as the athletic director, and Shaq and Penny.

2. The Program (1993): Kane is Able! Maybe the best QB ever to grace the screen. (Apologizes to: Willie Beamen, Lance Harbor, Shane Falco, and “Sunshine” Bass.) What high school or college team hasn’t made a running back with a case of the fumbles carry the ball to class? They got the idea from The Program. Similar to Blue Chips in its win at all costs mentality. It shows the darker, more realistic side of sports. Players getting money from boosters. (Reggie Bush) Every program isn’t clean, and you don’t always make the last shot or catch the final touchdown. Not everyone can be an all- American. Shawne Merriman, err.. Steve Lattimer proved that steroids do make you stronger, faster, and better. “Starting Defense, place at the table!” This is an absolute must see. Still upset that a sequel never followed. Kane coming back to school (Heisman front runner), and another year with Darnell Jefferson in the backfield, ESU had National Championship written all over it.

1. Major League (1989): Of all the great sports movies this has always been my favorite. Awesome cast and even better characters. Bob Uecker’s Harry Dolye might be the best announcer in the business. Even if he was doing the play-by-play of the Royals or Pirates I’d get the baseball package to listen to this guy. My biggest question is who was the Indians All-Star selection that season? As anyone reading this knows every team must have one all- star. The all- star game falls in the middle of the season when Cleveland was still in last place, so who would they have chosen? “Wild Thing” Vaughn was said to be amongst the league leaders in strikeouts, but didn’t really turn it on until the end of the year. Pitchers do sneak in from bad teams (Mark Redman, Royals in ’06) Dorn may have been the biggest name on the team, but as Doyle mentions in the last game, he hit .271 with 86 RBI’s after a slow start. Willie Mays Hayes was at the top of the league for stolen bases as well as in the hunt for rookie of the year. Cerrano, Harris, Taylor all possibilities, but if I had to guess I’d lean towards Vaughn or Hayes. I wanted sequels for Happy Gilmore and The Program, Major League pumped out two more films that didn’t meet expectations. What do I know?

-Rich Keefe