Sorry for the lack of PIR blog yesterday. I had to run up to Boston to take care of some stuff, including get my taxes done. I got a woman at H&R Block who knows what’s she’s doin. Last year I took home over $3K. This year I got just over $2K. Now that I’m unemployed, it’s important to have people. Probably going to miss PIR tomorrow because I’m going up with my parents for my mom’s appointment in Boston – we’re going to Union Oyster House for lunch, and I NEVER miss an opportunity to crush clam chowder and oysters at the House.
Alright, just saw commercials for Joe-4-Oil and the Survivor promo, so PIR is coming up…and here it is!!! The contestants are being called down. And we have our first psycho running back and forth up and down the aisle. I officially don’t want him to win already. Kaillah was the last one called and she’s super hot. Like SUPER hot. I don’t want her to win more that this Michael dude now so I can watch her on bidder’s row all day.
First up for bid is a 4-night stay in San Diego. I’ll say $1500. Yumeika with $3500. That seems high. Actual price is $2,220. Michael won. He’s going nuts again. I can’t tell if he’s high or just retarded. And then they give him a new car. That slowed him down a bit. I thought it would do the opposite but this is good. He’s suddenly serious. I don’t know what the hell this game is that he’s playing, but I hope it’s hard. Apparently he has to guess if the prices given to random items are true or false. The more he gets right, the more “picks” he gets at guessing the price of the car. They have five possible prices listed, so the more picks the higher the odds of him winning. He’s 2 for 2 so far. This isn’t good. I really don’t want this guy to win. Jesus he’s good. He’s 3 for 3 now. Last item is a blimp phone. $65 true or false. I saw false. Michael loses, he went 3 for 4. So he gets 3 picks at the price of the car from these price tags. Hahaha I can’t believe he just did that. He was pointing at one asking the crowd and pulled it off while still asking if they thought he should pick it. But he didn’t realize there is a big “YES” or “NO” under each of them. So when he pulled it off the buzzer rang to say “NO”. He was so confused because he hadn’t picked it, but it’s not like he can put it back after seeing the big letters telling him “NO”. I love it. His other two picks were wrong. Serves this d-bag right. Calm down next and don’t climb over the chairs and do sprints up and down the aisle when you get called to bidder’s row. Act like a normal, excited human being, not some retarded, belligerent monkey.
First commercial on the break is for Nutri-system. This is such a scandal. A buddy of mine tried this once and said the meals were for birds. Apparently they’re smaller than Lean Cuisines, and you’re only losing weight because you’re practically not eating. It’s like putting people on an anorexia diet but allowing them to cheat a little three times a day. Have you seen the one with Chris Berman on it? I know the guy is overweight, but there’s no way he was ever as fat as the picture they show of him on the commercial. He looks like he was birthing octuplets. Speaking of which, I can’t believe that stupid woman is going to get a TV series. The idiot already had six kids and could have done something to alter the number of embryos for this pregnancy. It’s clear that she moved forward with the pregnancy for the purpose of landing a TV or book deal and she’s getting it. Personally, I think social services should take the kids from her and no one should give her anything. Punish the woman – not the kids – for being a greedy, money hungry idiot.
Next item up for bid is a set of “cool” guitars. They’re awful and they’re for chicks. Thankfully it’s all chicks up on bidder’s row, including my girl Kaillah. I wouldn’t even bid. Damnit, Kaillah won. I really didn’t want that to happen. I was hoping she’d be up there all day. Apparently she’s a dental hygienist and let me tell you, she’s got a great set…of teeth. Alright she’s trying to win a Harley Davidson and she’s pumped. I like that, a hot biker chick. I bet she’s one of those that loves riding the back of a bike so she can get an orgasm. My cousin Brett used to ride all the time and he said chicks would ask him to get on for a ride for that sole reason. Can you imagine? I’d go for the nearest parking lot and blow over every speed bump at 60mph until I felt her nails digging into my love handles. She didn’t win. Oh well.
Back from commercial, third item for bidding is a day sailer. With a tie-dye sail. How hideous. Yumeika from Detroit just won it. She may live by the Great Lakes, but I guarantee this bitch never steps foot on that day sailer. That thing won’t fit in the blow up pool in the backyard, but maybe they can flood the lawn with the hose and see if it works.
She’s trying to win three prizes, and she has to guess the item with the wrong price tag. She went with the Louie Vitton bags. I’d like to know how she got that right. Her Louie Vitton bags probably fell off the back of a truck, so there’s no way she could know the actual price. Lucky guess , I suppose.
Alright time to spin the wheel! My girl is up first. She got $.65. And she’s spinning again. I don’t like it. The crowd is booing. She spun it around exactly two times and landed on $.65 again. And her day is over. That’s upsetting. Michael is up and he’s criticizing Kaillah. Bush league. I’d jump this dude if I was there right now. No one talks about my girl like that. And Yumeika just spun. She was so busy showing us a picture of her illegitimate baby that she didn’t realize she came incredibly close to spinning $1.00. Unfortunately for her it landed on $.05 and her second spin wasn’t enough. Michael advances with $.70. That sucks. Tough start to today’s show.
The next contestant is David Lopez. Not only does he look like and have a similar build as Vito from The Sopranos, but the next item up for bid is a Pilates machine. You can’t tell me they didn’t look for the fattest contestant and call him up for this. I’ll be surprised if they don’t rig this so he wins. Well he probably won’t. It’ll need to be exactly $499 because someone bid $500 AND $501. That’s rough. What’s even worse is how this just happened. David bid his $499, and Lauren bid $501. Anne-Marie went way over that, and Jesse was last to bid. He went with $500. Yes that’s right. He sandwiched himself IN BETWEEN $499 and $501.
Needless to say, Lauren won with her bid of $501. And she’s up for a new Jeep. It’s a RallyE. I think I saw this last week and someone didn’t win it. If you remember I asked what happens to items that aren’t won. Do they get recycled? How long do they wait? I think we found our answer. I’m telling you, this Jeep, same model and color, looks eerily familiar. So does the hot model sitting in it, but I don’t think she’s part of the package.
The game is cover up. In her first shot she got every number except the middle one right. $24,X65. She has to choose between a 3, 1, or a 0. I’m going with the 3. I GOT…I mean SHE GOT IT!!! Ugh I was so excited for her and then right before they cut to commercial I heard her start to tell Drew, “You don’t know how much of a fan of this show I am…” Alright listen, you clearly like the show at least somewhat because you decided to come on it. But let’s face it, you’re only telling him this because you’re excited that you just won. Had you lost the game and not won the car, you would have walked off the stage dejected and upset and not said another word to Drew until you got to the wheel and/or the Showcase Showdown. That was completely unnecessary and I’m not rooting against her.
Next contestant is Ellen. She doesn’t know where to go. Drew is directing her down to bidder’s row. She’s wearing ALL Price is Right clothing. Drew just said, “Well we got someone at the gift shop.” Not bad. Item up for bid is snowboarding equipment. I say $800. I can’t believe what I just saw. I don’t think David knows how to play the game. Anne-Marie bid $650. Jesse bid $675. And David was asked to make a bid. He was clearly flustered. And he bid $649. You do realize that it’s the closest WITHOUT going over. So you’re telling me you think it’s exactly $649? Or are you telling me you didn’t think at all. The idiot Jesse apparently got a tutorial from the last bidding because he just won.
Jesse is going for Snowmobiles. I mean I guess it’s good David didn’t win any of this stuff, because there’s no way that fat ass can snowboard, and he’d probably tip over the snowmobiles anyway so it’d just end up being a waste of prizes. I like Jesse. Drew asked him what he does for a living and he said, “NOTHING!!!” Right on, brother. Drew then said what I normally tell people. “He’s in between jobs.” He’s playing Pick-a-Pair. He’s has to match up two items with the same price. His first two picks were way off, but he kept the soup at $1.53 and got rid of the dog toy. He matched it up with a pencil and we have a winner!
Bonnie is the next contestant on the PIR. Last item up for bid is an Espresso machine. I’ll $350? I have no idea. I feel like they’re less than $100 at Target. David just said, “I got it. I got it.” Then he thought for a minute and said $1,200. Next highest bid was $600. I love it. Actual price was $1,030. David was over. Way to bid $1,200 after the first woman bid $350. He screwed himself. As a result, Anne-Marie wins. She’s playing for a queen bed. It’s decent, a lot better than the freakin Star Wars bed set the other day. Time for Squeeze Play. The price is not $37,291. She has to get rid of the 7, 2, 9. She was wrong. Game over just like that. Second wheel coming up.
Not much to report from the wheel. Lauren won. Although Anne-Marie failed to spin the wheel an entire rotation. Just awful. She got $.15 twice and was resigned to stand there with $.30. Serves her right for failing to spin it once. It’s not that hard.
Showcase showdown, here we go. First showcase includes: a dual range? Not sure what that is, but apparently it’s self cleaning which is good. A new spa from Great Lakes spas. Couple seats, looks pretty legit. And a 58” plasma TV. Lauren passed it to Michael. He bid $11,000. That’s a little low, but I don’t think he’ll be too bad off. This second showcase could be a monster, so there’s probably a lot of room for error with Lauren.
Alright first item is a Mac computer and wireless speakers, Ipods, etc. And a trip to the Biltmore House in North Carolina. Four night stay. And another trip, a 9-day tour of the Czech Republic. That kind of sucks. Why would I want to go there? Whatever, she bid $19,000. This is going to be interesting.
Back from the break. Actual price of Michael’s showcase is $17,345. That’s tough. He probably needs her to go over. I knew $11,000 was way too low. Actual retail price of Lauren’s, $22,248. Lauren wins. Which is good. Michael sucked. See ya.
-Bess
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