Let the fun begin. The first chick got her name called and took so long jumping up and down in the aisle that the second person whose name was called made it to bidder’s row before her. The announcer even waited a while just giving her a chance to get down there, but she was too busy pulling her pants up and screaming they just gave up.
First game is Flip Flop. It was over in less than 30 seconds. That was unbelievable. Guy was going for two bikes and there were two amounts, “79” and “89” side by side. The price of the bikes was NOT $7989, but he could flip either or both of the numbers to make a new price. He went for $7998. Drew revealed the retail price and it was $9798. Game over. Just like that. Kind of sucks. I’d want to be up there for at least two minutes. This guy had like 30 seconds.
Second item up for bid is an electric range. No clue. Don’t even want it. And we just had an awkward moment and a funny one within a minute of each other. First off a woman got outbid by $1 for the second game in a row. And she lost because of it. So Drew goes, “Oh man, Ruth that’s the second…” and then Ruth interrupts Drew on her microphone and goes, “Excuse me, Drew? Can you please call me Ruthie?”
I mean really? You’re on the PIR and you have the balls to ask Drew to call you Ruthie? Who the hell do you think you are?
So the guy that outbid “Ruthie” goes up and tells Drew, “I want that car. Give me that car!” Then they open up the door and “IT’S A NEW CARRRRRR!” This guy obviously read my blog last week when I claimed they always give a car away by the second bidding. And now he’s playing Hole-in-One. Drew just took a practice shot and lipped out. Little too much steam on it. But this guy is putting from the closest line because he just guessed the price of all six items. This guy is awesome. He’s putting from less than a foot away and he is taking practice cuts. My dad just walked in and goes, “How can he miss, look at the size of the f*cking hole.” The guy just put it in the center of the cup and won the car.
And we just came back from commercial and Drew was in the crowd with the guy that won the car. He forgot that the guy won an extra $500 for getting the price of all the grocery items right. He had to repeat it 3 times because the guy couldn’t hear him, and once he realized what Drew was saying he jumped out of his seat and leapt around for a few seconds some more. These people are priceless.
“Ruthie” just had her vengeance. She was last to bid and outbid the highest win by $1. And she won. But I have to comment on the second woman who bid. The first bid was $440. She bid $445. Really? Just save yourself the trouble and bid $441. I don’t understand what people are thinking. So “Ruthie” is going for a dinette set, guitar and LCD TV. She has to guess the item that costs the most. “Ruthie” announced she thought it was the dinette set, but that her friends said it was the LCD TV. I’m not sure why she’s even debating this. It’s clearly the LCD TV. It’s like a 50”, this isn’t even close. If they can fit the dinette set on the same stage as a guitar and TV, the set obviously isn’t a) that big and b) that nice. She decided to listen to her friends, thank god. So they’re revealing the prices. The dinette set is $1099 and guitar is $1699. Drew just told her that if she’d listened to herself, she would’ve lost already. The TV is $2199 and “Ruthie” just won, but it was very undeserving. Onto the wheel…
David is first to go. He’s the only person who didn’t win so far. First spin was $.25. This is not David’s day. He just spun $1.00 so he’s over. What a miserable outing on the show. “Ruthie” is spinning now. She got $.40. She’s spinning again. If she goes over this dude automatically wins. Nope. Oh jesus. She didn’t even make it all the way around. She’s spinning again. Barely made it around. Oh god. She got another $.55. She’s at $.95. This is annoying. This chick is retarded and weak and she’s dominating. So Harold is spinning and he just announced “My wife is pregnant and I’d like to give all my glory to God, he changed my life.” In other words, you’re a recovering drug addict. Drew quickly focused on the baby though, congratulating him and asking if it was his first. It’s not, it’s his second. The first one is probably a crack baby. Harold went over, “Ruthie” advances. Truly a sign of the Apocolypse.
Fourth item up for bid is a fooze ball table. The screaming chick from earlier? She just won. This is awful. She just turned it into an open mic session. She’s giving shout out after shout out. And she has the biggest beak I’ve ever seen. Not only in terms of length, but the shear girth of this thing is tremendous. It actually goes up before sloping back down. It’s got like levels. This is crazy. She is trying to win a trip to China, a wine cabinet and a toy car. This is crazy. There were nine numbers listed and she had to guess the price of each. The China trip was four consecutive numbers, the cabinet was three and the toy car was two. I called it right off the bat, but she went in a different direction. Then she went back and moved stuff around for an entire minute before settling with what she originally had. If you’re gonna go through all that trouble and keep us waiting, at least make a freakin’ change. Rightfully so, she was wrong, I was right. Take your beak back to your seat and wait for the wheel you bird.
Next item up for bid is a new laptop computer from Dell. I’m going with $1100. Wow, it was $1104. That’s awesome. Jacob just won and he’s up on stage screaming “USCCCCCCCC!!!” He just apologized to Drew. I think he realizes how obnoxious he is right now. And naturally, this loser is going for a new car. I like this game. That’s-Too-Much. He has to find the price that is JUST over the actual price of the car. This guy is lost. Wow, he guessed that $19,552 was too much and he was about $2K under. That’s tough. Maybe that’ll shut him up.
Oh wow this last item for bid is sick. An Xbox360 and PS3 with RockBand, GuitarHero and more. Wow Shirley is new to bidder’s row and she went with $1,032. God. This bothers me. Second bid was $1400. Third bid was $1401. And Kira started jumping up and down right away and screamed out “$1402!!!” See that just bothers me. You’re rubbing it in the face of the people next to you. I wanted nothing more than for her to lose. Okay I really hate this chick. She had to guess the price of a new spa. It was either $7213 or $8187. She was breathing heavy and jumping and yelled out Alkazam and won. Why do annoying, stupid people always seem to win. She’ll probably win the wheel too. In fact I’m calling it. She’s gonna win the wheel AND the showcase showdown. In fact I’ll go a step further and say she’ll spin $1.00 on the wheel and win both showcases. That’s how much I hate this chick.
Alright Jacob is up first. He wanted to give his shout out before even spinning. Drew had to tell him to spin first and then he could say whatever he wanted. And we just found out he’s probably gay. He gave a shout out to his family AND the girls from some sorority that he came with. He’s definitely the gay friend. Then Andrea stepped up and spun so hard she wiped out. I was typing and looked up to find her picking herself up off the floor. My pick Kira just went over. Thank god. I was hoping I’d jink her.
Speaking of which, I’d like to give a shout out to my buddy Kevin. He’s now lost 7 straight on Streak for Cash. He took John Rollins yesterday to win the Buick Invitational. The guy had a 3 stroke lead with 8 to play and lost. So he texted me and told me he was at six, and that the Utah Jazz were screwed because he took them last night AT Golden State. I immediately panicked because I had gotten two in a row but also took the Jazz. Then after thinking about it, I figured I’d stick with my pick because it seemed like a gimme. If you haven’t seen the movie “The Cooler” yet, check it out, because that’s what Kevin is right now. The Jazz got smoked by 20 and my streak is back at zero while Kevin sits at 7 losses in a row.
Back to PIR. First showcase is up! First item is a living room group with tables, lamps, rug and couches. An inversion table. Some stupid exercise machine. “Ruthie” is pretending to be excited. And then there’s a sailboat. She looks blown away by all of this. The showcase sucks and I think she’s going to bid on it. Oh wow I’m surprised she passed it. Even Drew was surprised. He said to her, “You seem really excited about this showcase.” And Jacob just bid $23,000. And he already lost if “Ruthie” bids $1. He’s definitely over. There’s no way that thing is higher than $17,000. She’s going for an evening gown, a six-day cruise and a 3-day trip to London. And $3,000 cash. I’d say $19,000, but again, I’d only bid $1. I’m sure Jacob is over. And “Ruthie” just asked, “So I need to add them ALL up?” Really? What else are you going to do? Oh my god. This is unbelievable. She’s sounding it out with her friends over the microphone. That was really annoying. Especially when someone started to tell her $75,000 and she said, “Oh you craaaazyyyy.” She ended up bidding $17,000. I think she’s better off with $1 but she’s probably still going to win.
Actual retail price of “Ruthie’s” showcase was $19,312. For the record, if I had bid my $19,000 I would win both showcases. Let that be known. Jacob is up. Actual retail price is $20,469. He’s over, just like I said. Go back to your sorority, pal.
I just asked my dad what the odds were of him cheffing up an egg sandwich for me. He mumbled, “Umm, I don’t know.” Then proceeded to tell me there were “plenty of other things out here.” In other words, he doesn’t feel like cooking. He just came in and asked if I’d settle for scrambled. I’ll take it. So I’m gonna take care of the toast. I’ll see ya.
-Bess
Showing posts with label Price is Right. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Price is Right. Show all posts
Monday, February 9, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Running PIR blog, Thursday 2/5
Sorry for the lack of PIR blog yesterday. I had to run up to Boston to take care of some stuff, including get my taxes done. I got a woman at H&R Block who knows what’s she’s doin. Last year I took home over $3K. This year I got just over $2K. Now that I’m unemployed, it’s important to have people. Probably going to miss PIR tomorrow because I’m going up with my parents for my mom’s appointment in Boston – we’re going to Union Oyster House for lunch, and I NEVER miss an opportunity to crush clam chowder and oysters at the House.
Alright, just saw commercials for Joe-4-Oil and the Survivor promo, so PIR is coming up…and here it is!!! The contestants are being called down. And we have our first psycho running back and forth up and down the aisle. I officially don’t want him to win already. Kaillah was the last one called and she’s super hot. Like SUPER hot. I don’t want her to win more that this Michael dude now so I can watch her on bidder’s row all day.
First up for bid is a 4-night stay in San Diego. I’ll say $1500. Yumeika with $3500. That seems high. Actual price is $2,220. Michael won. He’s going nuts again. I can’t tell if he’s high or just retarded. And then they give him a new car. That slowed him down a bit. I thought it would do the opposite but this is good. He’s suddenly serious. I don’t know what the hell this game is that he’s playing, but I hope it’s hard. Apparently he has to guess if the prices given to random items are true or false. The more he gets right, the more “picks” he gets at guessing the price of the car. They have five possible prices listed, so the more picks the higher the odds of him winning. He’s 2 for 2 so far. This isn’t good. I really don’t want this guy to win. Jesus he’s good. He’s 3 for 3 now. Last item is a blimp phone. $65 true or false. I saw false. Michael loses, he went 3 for 4. So he gets 3 picks at the price of the car from these price tags. Hahaha I can’t believe he just did that. He was pointing at one asking the crowd and pulled it off while still asking if they thought he should pick it. But he didn’t realize there is a big “YES” or “NO” under each of them. So when he pulled it off the buzzer rang to say “NO”. He was so confused because he hadn’t picked it, but it’s not like he can put it back after seeing the big letters telling him “NO”. I love it. His other two picks were wrong. Serves this d-bag right. Calm down next and don’t climb over the chairs and do sprints up and down the aisle when you get called to bidder’s row. Act like a normal, excited human being, not some retarded, belligerent monkey.
First commercial on the break is for Nutri-system. This is such a scandal. A buddy of mine tried this once and said the meals were for birds. Apparently they’re smaller than Lean Cuisines, and you’re only losing weight because you’re practically not eating. It’s like putting people on an anorexia diet but allowing them to cheat a little three times a day. Have you seen the one with Chris Berman on it? I know the guy is overweight, but there’s no way he was ever as fat as the picture they show of him on the commercial. He looks like he was birthing octuplets. Speaking of which, I can’t believe that stupid woman is going to get a TV series. The idiot already had six kids and could have done something to alter the number of embryos for this pregnancy. It’s clear that she moved forward with the pregnancy for the purpose of landing a TV or book deal and she’s getting it. Personally, I think social services should take the kids from her and no one should give her anything. Punish the woman – not the kids – for being a greedy, money hungry idiot.
Next item up for bid is a set of “cool” guitars. They’re awful and they’re for chicks. Thankfully it’s all chicks up on bidder’s row, including my girl Kaillah. I wouldn’t even bid. Damnit, Kaillah won. I really didn’t want that to happen. I was hoping she’d be up there all day. Apparently she’s a dental hygienist and let me tell you, she’s got a great set…of teeth. Alright she’s trying to win a Harley Davidson and she’s pumped. I like that, a hot biker chick. I bet she’s one of those that loves riding the back of a bike so she can get an orgasm. My cousin Brett used to ride all the time and he said chicks would ask him to get on for a ride for that sole reason. Can you imagine? I’d go for the nearest parking lot and blow over every speed bump at 60mph until I felt her nails digging into my love handles. She didn’t win. Oh well.
Back from commercial, third item for bidding is a day sailer. With a tie-dye sail. How hideous. Yumeika from Detroit just won it. She may live by the Great Lakes, but I guarantee this bitch never steps foot on that day sailer. That thing won’t fit in the blow up pool in the backyard, but maybe they can flood the lawn with the hose and see if it works.
She’s trying to win three prizes, and she has to guess the item with the wrong price tag. She went with the Louie Vitton bags. I’d like to know how she got that right. Her Louie Vitton bags probably fell off the back of a truck, so there’s no way she could know the actual price. Lucky guess , I suppose.
Alright time to spin the wheel! My girl is up first. She got $.65. And she’s spinning again. I don’t like it. The crowd is booing. She spun it around exactly two times and landed on $.65 again. And her day is over. That’s upsetting. Michael is up and he’s criticizing Kaillah. Bush league. I’d jump this dude if I was there right now. No one talks about my girl like that. And Yumeika just spun. She was so busy showing us a picture of her illegitimate baby that she didn’t realize she came incredibly close to spinning $1.00. Unfortunately for her it landed on $.05 and her second spin wasn’t enough. Michael advances with $.70. That sucks. Tough start to today’s show.
The next contestant is David Lopez. Not only does he look like and have a similar build as Vito from The Sopranos, but the next item up for bid is a Pilates machine. You can’t tell me they didn’t look for the fattest contestant and call him up for this. I’ll be surprised if they don’t rig this so he wins. Well he probably won’t. It’ll need to be exactly $499 because someone bid $500 AND $501. That’s rough. What’s even worse is how this just happened. David bid his $499, and Lauren bid $501. Anne-Marie went way over that, and Jesse was last to bid. He went with $500. Yes that’s right. He sandwiched himself IN BETWEEN $499 and $501.
Needless to say, Lauren won with her bid of $501. And she’s up for a new Jeep. It’s a RallyE. I think I saw this last week and someone didn’t win it. If you remember I asked what happens to items that aren’t won. Do they get recycled? How long do they wait? I think we found our answer. I’m telling you, this Jeep, same model and color, looks eerily familiar. So does the hot model sitting in it, but I don’t think she’s part of the package.
The game is cover up. In her first shot she got every number except the middle one right. $24,X65. She has to choose between a 3, 1, or a 0. I’m going with the 3. I GOT…I mean SHE GOT IT!!! Ugh I was so excited for her and then right before they cut to commercial I heard her start to tell Drew, “You don’t know how much of a fan of this show I am…” Alright listen, you clearly like the show at least somewhat because you decided to come on it. But let’s face it, you’re only telling him this because you’re excited that you just won. Had you lost the game and not won the car, you would have walked off the stage dejected and upset and not said another word to Drew until you got to the wheel and/or the Showcase Showdown. That was completely unnecessary and I’m not rooting against her.
Next contestant is Ellen. She doesn’t know where to go. Drew is directing her down to bidder’s row. She’s wearing ALL Price is Right clothing. Drew just said, “Well we got someone at the gift shop.” Not bad. Item up for bid is snowboarding equipment. I say $800. I can’t believe what I just saw. I don’t think David knows how to play the game. Anne-Marie bid $650. Jesse bid $675. And David was asked to make a bid. He was clearly flustered. And he bid $649. You do realize that it’s the closest WITHOUT going over. So you’re telling me you think it’s exactly $649? Or are you telling me you didn’t think at all. The idiot Jesse apparently got a tutorial from the last bidding because he just won.
Jesse is going for Snowmobiles. I mean I guess it’s good David didn’t win any of this stuff, because there’s no way that fat ass can snowboard, and he’d probably tip over the snowmobiles anyway so it’d just end up being a waste of prizes. I like Jesse. Drew asked him what he does for a living and he said, “NOTHING!!!” Right on, brother. Drew then said what I normally tell people. “He’s in between jobs.” He’s playing Pick-a-Pair. He’s has to match up two items with the same price. His first two picks were way off, but he kept the soup at $1.53 and got rid of the dog toy. He matched it up with a pencil and we have a winner!
Bonnie is the next contestant on the PIR. Last item up for bid is an Espresso machine. I’ll $350? I have no idea. I feel like they’re less than $100 at Target. David just said, “I got it. I got it.” Then he thought for a minute and said $1,200. Next highest bid was $600. I love it. Actual price was $1,030. David was over. Way to bid $1,200 after the first woman bid $350. He screwed himself. As a result, Anne-Marie wins. She’s playing for a queen bed. It’s decent, a lot better than the freakin Star Wars bed set the other day. Time for Squeeze Play. The price is not $37,291. She has to get rid of the 7, 2, 9. She was wrong. Game over just like that. Second wheel coming up.
Not much to report from the wheel. Lauren won. Although Anne-Marie failed to spin the wheel an entire rotation. Just awful. She got $.15 twice and was resigned to stand there with $.30. Serves her right for failing to spin it once. It’s not that hard.
Showcase showdown, here we go. First showcase includes: a dual range? Not sure what that is, but apparently it’s self cleaning which is good. A new spa from Great Lakes spas. Couple seats, looks pretty legit. And a 58” plasma TV. Lauren passed it to Michael. He bid $11,000. That’s a little low, but I don’t think he’ll be too bad off. This second showcase could be a monster, so there’s probably a lot of room for error with Lauren.
Alright first item is a Mac computer and wireless speakers, Ipods, etc. And a trip to the Biltmore House in North Carolina. Four night stay. And another trip, a 9-day tour of the Czech Republic. That kind of sucks. Why would I want to go there? Whatever, she bid $19,000. This is going to be interesting.
Back from the break. Actual price of Michael’s showcase is $17,345. That’s tough. He probably needs her to go over. I knew $11,000 was way too low. Actual retail price of Lauren’s, $22,248. Lauren wins. Which is good. Michael sucked. See ya.
-Bess
Alright, just saw commercials for Joe-4-Oil and the Survivor promo, so PIR is coming up…and here it is!!! The contestants are being called down. And we have our first psycho running back and forth up and down the aisle. I officially don’t want him to win already. Kaillah was the last one called and she’s super hot. Like SUPER hot. I don’t want her to win more that this Michael dude now so I can watch her on bidder’s row all day.
First up for bid is a 4-night stay in San Diego. I’ll say $1500. Yumeika with $3500. That seems high. Actual price is $2,220. Michael won. He’s going nuts again. I can’t tell if he’s high or just retarded. And then they give him a new car. That slowed him down a bit. I thought it would do the opposite but this is good. He’s suddenly serious. I don’t know what the hell this game is that he’s playing, but I hope it’s hard. Apparently he has to guess if the prices given to random items are true or false. The more he gets right, the more “picks” he gets at guessing the price of the car. They have five possible prices listed, so the more picks the higher the odds of him winning. He’s 2 for 2 so far. This isn’t good. I really don’t want this guy to win. Jesus he’s good. He’s 3 for 3 now. Last item is a blimp phone. $65 true or false. I saw false. Michael loses, he went 3 for 4. So he gets 3 picks at the price of the car from these price tags. Hahaha I can’t believe he just did that. He was pointing at one asking the crowd and pulled it off while still asking if they thought he should pick it. But he didn’t realize there is a big “YES” or “NO” under each of them. So when he pulled it off the buzzer rang to say “NO”. He was so confused because he hadn’t picked it, but it’s not like he can put it back after seeing the big letters telling him “NO”. I love it. His other two picks were wrong. Serves this d-bag right. Calm down next and don’t climb over the chairs and do sprints up and down the aisle when you get called to bidder’s row. Act like a normal, excited human being, not some retarded, belligerent monkey.
First commercial on the break is for Nutri-system. This is such a scandal. A buddy of mine tried this once and said the meals were for birds. Apparently they’re smaller than Lean Cuisines, and you’re only losing weight because you’re practically not eating. It’s like putting people on an anorexia diet but allowing them to cheat a little three times a day. Have you seen the one with Chris Berman on it? I know the guy is overweight, but there’s no way he was ever as fat as the picture they show of him on the commercial. He looks like he was birthing octuplets. Speaking of which, I can’t believe that stupid woman is going to get a TV series. The idiot already had six kids and could have done something to alter the number of embryos for this pregnancy. It’s clear that she moved forward with the pregnancy for the purpose of landing a TV or book deal and she’s getting it. Personally, I think social services should take the kids from her and no one should give her anything. Punish the woman – not the kids – for being a greedy, money hungry idiot.
Next item up for bid is a set of “cool” guitars. They’re awful and they’re for chicks. Thankfully it’s all chicks up on bidder’s row, including my girl Kaillah. I wouldn’t even bid. Damnit, Kaillah won. I really didn’t want that to happen. I was hoping she’d be up there all day. Apparently she’s a dental hygienist and let me tell you, she’s got a great set…of teeth. Alright she’s trying to win a Harley Davidson and she’s pumped. I like that, a hot biker chick. I bet she’s one of those that loves riding the back of a bike so she can get an orgasm. My cousin Brett used to ride all the time and he said chicks would ask him to get on for a ride for that sole reason. Can you imagine? I’d go for the nearest parking lot and blow over every speed bump at 60mph until I felt her nails digging into my love handles. She didn’t win. Oh well.
Back from commercial, third item for bidding is a day sailer. With a tie-dye sail. How hideous. Yumeika from Detroit just won it. She may live by the Great Lakes, but I guarantee this bitch never steps foot on that day sailer. That thing won’t fit in the blow up pool in the backyard, but maybe they can flood the lawn with the hose and see if it works.
She’s trying to win three prizes, and she has to guess the item with the wrong price tag. She went with the Louie Vitton bags. I’d like to know how she got that right. Her Louie Vitton bags probably fell off the back of a truck, so there’s no way she could know the actual price. Lucky guess , I suppose.
Alright time to spin the wheel! My girl is up first. She got $.65. And she’s spinning again. I don’t like it. The crowd is booing. She spun it around exactly two times and landed on $.65 again. And her day is over. That’s upsetting. Michael is up and he’s criticizing Kaillah. Bush league. I’d jump this dude if I was there right now. No one talks about my girl like that. And Yumeika just spun. She was so busy showing us a picture of her illegitimate baby that she didn’t realize she came incredibly close to spinning $1.00. Unfortunately for her it landed on $.05 and her second spin wasn’t enough. Michael advances with $.70. That sucks. Tough start to today’s show.
The next contestant is David Lopez. Not only does he look like and have a similar build as Vito from The Sopranos, but the next item up for bid is a Pilates machine. You can’t tell me they didn’t look for the fattest contestant and call him up for this. I’ll be surprised if they don’t rig this so he wins. Well he probably won’t. It’ll need to be exactly $499 because someone bid $500 AND $501. That’s rough. What’s even worse is how this just happened. David bid his $499, and Lauren bid $501. Anne-Marie went way over that, and Jesse was last to bid. He went with $500. Yes that’s right. He sandwiched himself IN BETWEEN $499 and $501.
Needless to say, Lauren won with her bid of $501. And she’s up for a new Jeep. It’s a RallyE. I think I saw this last week and someone didn’t win it. If you remember I asked what happens to items that aren’t won. Do they get recycled? How long do they wait? I think we found our answer. I’m telling you, this Jeep, same model and color, looks eerily familiar. So does the hot model sitting in it, but I don’t think she’s part of the package.
The game is cover up. In her first shot she got every number except the middle one right. $24,X65. She has to choose between a 3, 1, or a 0. I’m going with the 3. I GOT…I mean SHE GOT IT!!! Ugh I was so excited for her and then right before they cut to commercial I heard her start to tell Drew, “You don’t know how much of a fan of this show I am…” Alright listen, you clearly like the show at least somewhat because you decided to come on it. But let’s face it, you’re only telling him this because you’re excited that you just won. Had you lost the game and not won the car, you would have walked off the stage dejected and upset and not said another word to Drew until you got to the wheel and/or the Showcase Showdown. That was completely unnecessary and I’m not rooting against her.
Next contestant is Ellen. She doesn’t know where to go. Drew is directing her down to bidder’s row. She’s wearing ALL Price is Right clothing. Drew just said, “Well we got someone at the gift shop.” Not bad. Item up for bid is snowboarding equipment. I say $800. I can’t believe what I just saw. I don’t think David knows how to play the game. Anne-Marie bid $650. Jesse bid $675. And David was asked to make a bid. He was clearly flustered. And he bid $649. You do realize that it’s the closest WITHOUT going over. So you’re telling me you think it’s exactly $649? Or are you telling me you didn’t think at all. The idiot Jesse apparently got a tutorial from the last bidding because he just won.
Jesse is going for Snowmobiles. I mean I guess it’s good David didn’t win any of this stuff, because there’s no way that fat ass can snowboard, and he’d probably tip over the snowmobiles anyway so it’d just end up being a waste of prizes. I like Jesse. Drew asked him what he does for a living and he said, “NOTHING!!!” Right on, brother. Drew then said what I normally tell people. “He’s in between jobs.” He’s playing Pick-a-Pair. He’s has to match up two items with the same price. His first two picks were way off, but he kept the soup at $1.53 and got rid of the dog toy. He matched it up with a pencil and we have a winner!
Bonnie is the next contestant on the PIR. Last item up for bid is an Espresso machine. I’ll $350? I have no idea. I feel like they’re less than $100 at Target. David just said, “I got it. I got it.” Then he thought for a minute and said $1,200. Next highest bid was $600. I love it. Actual price was $1,030. David was over. Way to bid $1,200 after the first woman bid $350. He screwed himself. As a result, Anne-Marie wins. She’s playing for a queen bed. It’s decent, a lot better than the freakin Star Wars bed set the other day. Time for Squeeze Play. The price is not $37,291. She has to get rid of the 7, 2, 9. She was wrong. Game over just like that. Second wheel coming up.
Not much to report from the wheel. Lauren won. Although Anne-Marie failed to spin the wheel an entire rotation. Just awful. She got $.15 twice and was resigned to stand there with $.30. Serves her right for failing to spin it once. It’s not that hard.
Showcase showdown, here we go. First showcase includes: a dual range? Not sure what that is, but apparently it’s self cleaning which is good. A new spa from Great Lakes spas. Couple seats, looks pretty legit. And a 58” plasma TV. Lauren passed it to Michael. He bid $11,000. That’s a little low, but I don’t think he’ll be too bad off. This second showcase could be a monster, so there’s probably a lot of room for error with Lauren.
Alright first item is a Mac computer and wireless speakers, Ipods, etc. And a trip to the Biltmore House in North Carolina. Four night stay. And another trip, a 9-day tour of the Czech Republic. That kind of sucks. Why would I want to go there? Whatever, she bid $19,000. This is going to be interesting.
Back from the break. Actual price of Michael’s showcase is $17,345. That’s tough. He probably needs her to go over. I knew $11,000 was way too low. Actual retail price of Lauren’s, $22,248. Lauren wins. Which is good. Michael sucked. See ya.
-Bess
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Running blog of the PIR, Tuesday, 2/3
Welcome to Tuesday’s episode of PIR. Sorry for not blogging yesterday. I did, but when I went to publish it on the blog, somehow an hour’s worth of blogging disappeared. I had some good stuff in there too, so I’m hoping I’ll get to recycle it into today’s blog.
The contestants are just being announced for the first round of bidder’s row. No one has fallen yet, which sucks, but yesterday the first woman they called apparently didn’t realize the show was starting. They had to call her name twice. I wonder what would’ve happened if she didn’t react the second time either. Do they just move on and draw a new name? Has that ever happened before?
Okay, first item up for bid is a desktop touch screen computer. Pretty sick, Bluetooth and everything. Apparently you’ll never want to leave the house. I say $2400. Nadine goes with $1500. Too low. Rory with $1800. Okay. David with $1925 and Kristine elicits a scream from David with $1926. And Nadine wins. Wow, I’m off to a horrible start. This is incredible. Now before we go any further, yesterday I wrote that I was noticing a trend. Second prize is always a car. Okay that theory just went to shit. Nadine can win…A NEW CARRRRR! Ford Mustang, this thing looks incredible. So does the chick sitting in it. I wish that came with it.
We’re looking for a price that’s JUST over the price of the car. So Drew is going to keep giving her amounts and when she thinks that’s too much, she yells, “THAT’S TOO MUCH!” And wow, we just had a screw up. Drew was hitting a button to reveal a price, and when he hit the third button, the third AND the fifth prices both turned over. So Nadine apparently knows too much. And she’s fallen in love with the fifth price so we’re skipping over 3 and 4 and going right there. $25,981. Drew just talked her into seeing the fourth one in case and she almost bit. Let’s see what happened. She’s wrong. Wow she was way wrong. It was the third one that was over.
So here we go with the next contestant, it’s Sarah Bolin and she’s freaking out. OMG. She just jumped into Rory’s arms and they had to blur out her ass crack. That was disgusting. Sarah’s not the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen, but she’s got “more to love”, and that “more to love” was just bursting out of her jeans and into the eyes of the millions of senior citizens at home. Somewhere pacemakers are going off and grandparents everywhere are clutching their chests in horror. Second item up for bid is beach equipment from SportsStuff. Lounges to be exact. Here’s what bothers me. You’ve got this hot model laying around on this crap, and she’s wearing a wet suit. I don’t understand that at all. When would a hot chick like that ever lounge around a pool or beach in a wet suit. She’d be a bikini that looks like something I floss with every night. Actually that’s a lie. I don’t floss every night. Just ask my dentist. Although I was told that for someone who doesn’t floss I have remarkable ivories. How do you like them apples?
Kristine won. She’s cute. Definitely looks high maintenance though. And naturally she’s bidding a Jimmy Chu handbag and shoes and stereo equipment. This is a quick game. She has to determine if the prices should stay the same or be switched. She decided to switch. She’s right. Good for her. I’m not surprised. When Drew asked her she goes, “Well, it’s Jimmy Chuuuuuuu” and then said switch it. She knew the whole time. She probably just bought that shit this morning before she came. She might even be wearing Jimmy Chu right now, but her handbag is under her seat. Let's just hope her money doesn't go missing as if she left her bag hanging around at a college baseball party somewhere in Boston.
Third item up for bid is a digital camera. I’ll say $700. Terri just joined us, she goes $950. Alright Sarah is freaking out. She just $852. WTF is that. $1520 for Rory. Why not $951? Last dude bid a buck. And look at that. Rory is officially an idiot. Had he bid $951 like I said he would’ve won. Instead Terri had a short trip at bidder’s row…by default. It’s bedroom furniture. Which reminds me of a prize from yesterday that you obviously didn’t get to read about because of blogspot screwing me. The last woman to win on bidder’s row had a chance to win…get this…a StarWars themed bedroom set. I can’t believe she didn’t just walk off the stage. Honestly, what the hell is that. First off she’s a chick, second off we have no idea if she has kids, and third off, how is that a game prize. You’re telling me that someone can go on there and win a car, and this woman is trying to win a StarWars themed bedroom set? How is that even comparable? I wouldn’t told Drew forget the game, I’m just gonna go and get focused on spinning the wheel. This bedroom set is merely a distraction. Ridiculous.
Terri is playing the grocery game. She needs between $3.31 and $4.31 to win it. She’s going with the Clorox wipes. They’re $2.99. She’s screwed. The can of soup just put her over by $.21. That’s a tough way to go out. But it was only a bedroom set.
Time to spin the wheel. She barely made it around once. That’s awful. Only got $.20. Serves her right. I swear this woman has never done anything athletic in her life. She’s shaped like a bowling ball and the wheel was moving no faster than a retarded, paraplegic hamster was running on it. Nadine just rocked $.85. Solid. Kristine is up. Too much. Still hot though girl. I’d love to bang her in those Jimmy Chu’s.
So the commercial for the Grammy awards came on. I’m sick of this ad for one reason only…it ends with one of the Jonas brothers screaming, “…you babayyyy.” Am I the only one that finds these guys nauseating? They’re so terrible. They played at the NCAA football national championship game and were absolutely obnoxious. I can’t stand watching them stare into the camera like they’re hot. They’ll be nothing in two years. Take it to the bank.
Rory just won the fourth bid. Trip to St. Thomas at stake here. Rory is way too chill right now. He might still be scarred by Sarah jumping into his arms and him going to catch her but coming up with nothing but her ass cellulite. I can’t blame him, it was awful for the viewers at home and anyone sitting in the front row. Freeze frame game. I like this. So many possibilities. How much is the trip? I think it’s $6546. He just missed it. Now we’ll probably have to wait. Nope, he thinks it’s only $3695. What a retard. The crowd just booed. Well, I was wrong too. It was the next number coming up.
Fifth bidding here. Basketball jerseys and equipment. Portable hoop in there, six jerseys. Sorry eight jerseys. Drew can’t count. Ryan is new to the game, he bid $450. Are you kidding? It’s not a freaking huffy hoop pal. Jesus, Sarah just won. She’s going nuts. I can’t tell if she’s on something or just a loser. Christ it’s a new car. She’s just dropped to the ground and started doing the bicycle. She then jumped in Drew’s arms. No ass this time. I think CBS made her pull her shirt down and tuck it in. Which was considerate. Someone definitely said something to her. She keeps pulling her shirt down. It can’t go down any further at this point, but she keeps pulling on it. Now she’s gyrating. The last thing she should do is gyrate. It’s not flattering. The game is Gas Money. I don’t get this at all. Apparently she has a group of prices, and she has to avoid picking the price of the car. And she just guessed the price of the car. She lost her money and the car. Tough luck. And she just asked if she gets to spin the wheel. Seriously? No Sarah, sorry, you’re the first person in the history of PIR that won a bid and played a game, but won’t get to spin the wheel.
I love these Hillshire Farm commercials, by the way. Everytime I see one I end up chanting the jingle at the end. “When I say Hillshire you say Farm…Hillshire, Farm, GO MEAT!!!” Great stuff. Check out a couple of my favorites below…
Check out the guy pitting at the :20 mark of this next one.
Last item for bid is a hammock. Not even sure. Highest bid is $600. I say $601. And I won. Just in the nick of time. Ryan won. He’s pitting hard. He wore a dark shirt to hide it but it’s not saving him. I can’t wait to see him spin the wheel. I hope he has full moons by then. It’s tough though. He’s just resting his hands on his hips and you can see it. Those might be full moons already. I don’t even care about the game right now, I can’t stop looking at his pits. Oh man just caught a closeup. Those moons are so full. He just lost. Whatever. I only care about the wheel coming up. This is going to be awesome when he raises his arms. I wonder if he’ll ask for a new shirt. I totally would. I’m not even sure what I’d do in his position. Do you try spinning the wheel with a low starting position? He’ll look like an idiot, but I guess you have to determine what will look worse, a pathetic spin or full moon pit stains. You know I think I’d just rock the full moons. There can’t be any greater thrill than absolutely ripping that wheel. I wonder what the record is for rotations around. I’d find out and try and break it. It’s gotta be at least five. Women spin it two with ease, so a real man must be able to get like six or seven.
Alright back from commercial, here we go…
He went with the latter and gave it a half ass raise. You can tell he knows he’s pitting, he definitely did it real quick and got his arms down as fast as he could. But it worked out, he got $.85. That’s solid out of first position. See Rory had the right idea. He’s wearing a loose zip down sweatshirt. He could be pitting tremendously in that grey shirt he’s wearing underneath, but we’ll never know. And you know what? Rory just received a compliment from Drew on his spin. It was ridiculous. First one went around almost five times. I played it back to count, came up short but still strong. Second one barely got four, but still, if Drew is giving you props, you must’ve done something solid. Maybe seven is a bit optimistic, but I bet I could definitely get five, maybe six if I get into it. Rory didn’t look all that big, so I think I should be able to take him, I’d probably get six. Yea I’d definitely get six. But Ryan held on, so him and his moons are heading to the showcase showdown against Nadine.
Showcase 1:
Inflatable kayak. I’m already passing this. Again, the model is wearing a swimsuit, but now she has a life vest on. This is downright rude. Nice shot of her treasure chest but we can’t see anything upstairs. It’s frustrating. Alright this just got better, two off-road motorcycles. Oh wow, a Nissan Extera. Alright what’s the theme here? I don’t get it. Outdoor transportation? The kayak sucks. I feel like that was a Mike Lowell toss-in. Wow she just passed it. This bitch wants to travel. What an idiot. I’m bidding $31,000. Ryan bid $29,000.
Showcase 2:
A set of golf clubs. Nadine can’t golf. She’s too fat. She’ll be lucky to be able to putt, never mind hit a driver off the first tee. A trip to Pebble Beach with a round of golf with caddy and cart and a golf pro. Pretty cool, but again, Nadine can’t golf. They should have sent her to a mini-golf course. A nice one though. And now she’s getting a trip to St. Andrew’s and a round of golf there. What a waste of a showcase. She won’t even use this. She bid $35,000. Did I miss a car in there somewhere? Nadine might be double the actual price of the showcase. She must be mailing it in, that’s horrible. I can’t wait to see how far off she is. I’m going $16,000. Watch me.
Alright here we go…actual price of Ryan’s showcase is $33,452. I was close. I’m money. Nadine…here it is…actual retail price of her showcase IS…$20,486. Unbelievable. She didn’t quite double down, but that was horrible. So Ryan and his pit stains win. He’s jumping up and down right now but refuses to raise his arms, he officially looks like a fruitcake. He needs to just cope with the fact that those pit stains are awful and embrace them, because he’s now sacrificing his integrity on national television. Wow, he’s keeping his arms so close to his body. This is awful. It’s finally over, thank god it was getting hard to watch.
Now the other day I wrote about the chick who bid $12,098 for the one person outdoor sauna and dubbed it the worst bid in the history of PIR. In a way, I was right, b/c it certainly had to be the worst bid ever on bidder’s row. But in the showcase, check this out. If I’ve posted this before, I don’t apologize, because it’s that good. This guy was so flustered. Bob was getting frustrated and even told him to “think about that.” And I loved what Gay did after that. That’s a chick who knows what she’s doing. Enjoy…
-Bess
The contestants are just being announced for the first round of bidder’s row. No one has fallen yet, which sucks, but yesterday the first woman they called apparently didn’t realize the show was starting. They had to call her name twice. I wonder what would’ve happened if she didn’t react the second time either. Do they just move on and draw a new name? Has that ever happened before?
Okay, first item up for bid is a desktop touch screen computer. Pretty sick, Bluetooth and everything. Apparently you’ll never want to leave the house. I say $2400. Nadine goes with $1500. Too low. Rory with $1800. Okay. David with $1925 and Kristine elicits a scream from David with $1926. And Nadine wins. Wow, I’m off to a horrible start. This is incredible. Now before we go any further, yesterday I wrote that I was noticing a trend. Second prize is always a car. Okay that theory just went to shit. Nadine can win…A NEW CARRRRR! Ford Mustang, this thing looks incredible. So does the chick sitting in it. I wish that came with it.
We’re looking for a price that’s JUST over the price of the car. So Drew is going to keep giving her amounts and when she thinks that’s too much, she yells, “THAT’S TOO MUCH!” And wow, we just had a screw up. Drew was hitting a button to reveal a price, and when he hit the third button, the third AND the fifth prices both turned over. So Nadine apparently knows too much. And she’s fallen in love with the fifth price so we’re skipping over 3 and 4 and going right there. $25,981. Drew just talked her into seeing the fourth one in case and she almost bit. Let’s see what happened. She’s wrong. Wow she was way wrong. It was the third one that was over.
So here we go with the next contestant, it’s Sarah Bolin and she’s freaking out. OMG. She just jumped into Rory’s arms and they had to blur out her ass crack. That was disgusting. Sarah’s not the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen, but she’s got “more to love”, and that “more to love” was just bursting out of her jeans and into the eyes of the millions of senior citizens at home. Somewhere pacemakers are going off and grandparents everywhere are clutching their chests in horror. Second item up for bid is beach equipment from SportsStuff. Lounges to be exact. Here’s what bothers me. You’ve got this hot model laying around on this crap, and she’s wearing a wet suit. I don’t understand that at all. When would a hot chick like that ever lounge around a pool or beach in a wet suit. She’d be a bikini that looks like something I floss with every night. Actually that’s a lie. I don’t floss every night. Just ask my dentist. Although I was told that for someone who doesn’t floss I have remarkable ivories. How do you like them apples?
Kristine won. She’s cute. Definitely looks high maintenance though. And naturally she’s bidding a Jimmy Chu handbag and shoes and stereo equipment. This is a quick game. She has to determine if the prices should stay the same or be switched. She decided to switch. She’s right. Good for her. I’m not surprised. When Drew asked her she goes, “Well, it’s Jimmy Chuuuuuuu” and then said switch it. She knew the whole time. She probably just bought that shit this morning before she came. She might even be wearing Jimmy Chu right now, but her handbag is under her seat. Let's just hope her money doesn't go missing as if she left her bag hanging around at a college baseball party somewhere in Boston.
Third item up for bid is a digital camera. I’ll say $700. Terri just joined us, she goes $950. Alright Sarah is freaking out. She just $852. WTF is that. $1520 for Rory. Why not $951? Last dude bid a buck. And look at that. Rory is officially an idiot. Had he bid $951 like I said he would’ve won. Instead Terri had a short trip at bidder’s row…by default. It’s bedroom furniture. Which reminds me of a prize from yesterday that you obviously didn’t get to read about because of blogspot screwing me. The last woman to win on bidder’s row had a chance to win…get this…a StarWars themed bedroom set. I can’t believe she didn’t just walk off the stage. Honestly, what the hell is that. First off she’s a chick, second off we have no idea if she has kids, and third off, how is that a game prize. You’re telling me that someone can go on there and win a car, and this woman is trying to win a StarWars themed bedroom set? How is that even comparable? I wouldn’t told Drew forget the game, I’m just gonna go and get focused on spinning the wheel. This bedroom set is merely a distraction. Ridiculous.
Terri is playing the grocery game. She needs between $3.31 and $4.31 to win it. She’s going with the Clorox wipes. They’re $2.99. She’s screwed. The can of soup just put her over by $.21. That’s a tough way to go out. But it was only a bedroom set.
Time to spin the wheel. She barely made it around once. That’s awful. Only got $.20. Serves her right. I swear this woman has never done anything athletic in her life. She’s shaped like a bowling ball and the wheel was moving no faster than a retarded, paraplegic hamster was running on it. Nadine just rocked $.85. Solid. Kristine is up. Too much. Still hot though girl. I’d love to bang her in those Jimmy Chu’s.
So the commercial for the Grammy awards came on. I’m sick of this ad for one reason only…it ends with one of the Jonas brothers screaming, “…you babayyyy.” Am I the only one that finds these guys nauseating? They’re so terrible. They played at the NCAA football national championship game and were absolutely obnoxious. I can’t stand watching them stare into the camera like they’re hot. They’ll be nothing in two years. Take it to the bank.
Rory just won the fourth bid. Trip to St. Thomas at stake here. Rory is way too chill right now. He might still be scarred by Sarah jumping into his arms and him going to catch her but coming up with nothing but her ass cellulite. I can’t blame him, it was awful for the viewers at home and anyone sitting in the front row. Freeze frame game. I like this. So many possibilities. How much is the trip? I think it’s $6546. He just missed it. Now we’ll probably have to wait. Nope, he thinks it’s only $3695. What a retard. The crowd just booed. Well, I was wrong too. It was the next number coming up.
Fifth bidding here. Basketball jerseys and equipment. Portable hoop in there, six jerseys. Sorry eight jerseys. Drew can’t count. Ryan is new to the game, he bid $450. Are you kidding? It’s not a freaking huffy hoop pal. Jesus, Sarah just won. She’s going nuts. I can’t tell if she’s on something or just a loser. Christ it’s a new car. She’s just dropped to the ground and started doing the bicycle. She then jumped in Drew’s arms. No ass this time. I think CBS made her pull her shirt down and tuck it in. Which was considerate. Someone definitely said something to her. She keeps pulling her shirt down. It can’t go down any further at this point, but she keeps pulling on it. Now she’s gyrating. The last thing she should do is gyrate. It’s not flattering. The game is Gas Money. I don’t get this at all. Apparently she has a group of prices, and she has to avoid picking the price of the car. And she just guessed the price of the car. She lost her money and the car. Tough luck. And she just asked if she gets to spin the wheel. Seriously? No Sarah, sorry, you’re the first person in the history of PIR that won a bid and played a game, but won’t get to spin the wheel.
I love these Hillshire Farm commercials, by the way. Everytime I see one I end up chanting the jingle at the end. “When I say Hillshire you say Farm…Hillshire, Farm, GO MEAT!!!” Great stuff. Check out a couple of my favorites below…
Check out the guy pitting at the :20 mark of this next one.
Last item for bid is a hammock. Not even sure. Highest bid is $600. I say $601. And I won. Just in the nick of time. Ryan won. He’s pitting hard. He wore a dark shirt to hide it but it’s not saving him. I can’t wait to see him spin the wheel. I hope he has full moons by then. It’s tough though. He’s just resting his hands on his hips and you can see it. Those might be full moons already. I don’t even care about the game right now, I can’t stop looking at his pits. Oh man just caught a closeup. Those moons are so full. He just lost. Whatever. I only care about the wheel coming up. This is going to be awesome when he raises his arms. I wonder if he’ll ask for a new shirt. I totally would. I’m not even sure what I’d do in his position. Do you try spinning the wheel with a low starting position? He’ll look like an idiot, but I guess you have to determine what will look worse, a pathetic spin or full moon pit stains. You know I think I’d just rock the full moons. There can’t be any greater thrill than absolutely ripping that wheel. I wonder what the record is for rotations around. I’d find out and try and break it. It’s gotta be at least five. Women spin it two with ease, so a real man must be able to get like six or seven.
Alright back from commercial, here we go…
He went with the latter and gave it a half ass raise. You can tell he knows he’s pitting, he definitely did it real quick and got his arms down as fast as he could. But it worked out, he got $.85. That’s solid out of first position. See Rory had the right idea. He’s wearing a loose zip down sweatshirt. He could be pitting tremendously in that grey shirt he’s wearing underneath, but we’ll never know. And you know what? Rory just received a compliment from Drew on his spin. It was ridiculous. First one went around almost five times. I played it back to count, came up short but still strong. Second one barely got four, but still, if Drew is giving you props, you must’ve done something solid. Maybe seven is a bit optimistic, but I bet I could definitely get five, maybe six if I get into it. Rory didn’t look all that big, so I think I should be able to take him, I’d probably get six. Yea I’d definitely get six. But Ryan held on, so him and his moons are heading to the showcase showdown against Nadine.
Showcase 1:
Inflatable kayak. I’m already passing this. Again, the model is wearing a swimsuit, but now she has a life vest on. This is downright rude. Nice shot of her treasure chest but we can’t see anything upstairs. It’s frustrating. Alright this just got better, two off-road motorcycles. Oh wow, a Nissan Extera. Alright what’s the theme here? I don’t get it. Outdoor transportation? The kayak sucks. I feel like that was a Mike Lowell toss-in. Wow she just passed it. This bitch wants to travel. What an idiot. I’m bidding $31,000. Ryan bid $29,000.
Showcase 2:
A set of golf clubs. Nadine can’t golf. She’s too fat. She’ll be lucky to be able to putt, never mind hit a driver off the first tee. A trip to Pebble Beach with a round of golf with caddy and cart and a golf pro. Pretty cool, but again, Nadine can’t golf. They should have sent her to a mini-golf course. A nice one though. And now she’s getting a trip to St. Andrew’s and a round of golf there. What a waste of a showcase. She won’t even use this. She bid $35,000. Did I miss a car in there somewhere? Nadine might be double the actual price of the showcase. She must be mailing it in, that’s horrible. I can’t wait to see how far off she is. I’m going $16,000. Watch me.
Alright here we go…actual price of Ryan’s showcase is $33,452. I was close. I’m money. Nadine…here it is…actual retail price of her showcase IS…$20,486. Unbelievable. She didn’t quite double down, but that was horrible. So Ryan and his pit stains win. He’s jumping up and down right now but refuses to raise his arms, he officially looks like a fruitcake. He needs to just cope with the fact that those pit stains are awful and embrace them, because he’s now sacrificing his integrity on national television. Wow, he’s keeping his arms so close to his body. This is awful. It’s finally over, thank god it was getting hard to watch.
Now the other day I wrote about the chick who bid $12,098 for the one person outdoor sauna and dubbed it the worst bid in the history of PIR. In a way, I was right, b/c it certainly had to be the worst bid ever on bidder’s row. But in the showcase, check this out. If I’ve posted this before, I don’t apologize, because it’s that good. This guy was so flustered. Bob was getting frustrated and even told him to “think about that.” And I loved what Gay did after that. That’s a chick who knows what she’s doing. Enjoy…
-Bess
Friday, January 30, 2009
There's Something About Mary
No, not the movie. But the woman on PIR this morning. At 11am PIR came on the air with the usual flashing lights, cheering crowd and excitement it has every morning. And again, CBS continues to not let us down, providing some of the dumbest people we've ever seen.
Case in point, a middle-aged woman named Mary today. The first item up for bid was a sauna from Almost Heaven. Right away I yelled $2200. It was a lock. So the first three people went and made standard bids of $4500, $1200, and $1400. Now listen, I know I already said 2200 was a lock. But there's no way that thing is more than $4500. So she could have done one of two things...bid $1 and hope it's less than $1200, which is stupid, or bid $1401 and assume it'll be between $1400 and $4500. It gave her the best chance to win. Even if she thought it was over $4500, all she had to do was bid $4501. But did she do any of those? Absolutely not. Instead, she bid "Twelve thousand ninety-nine dollars!!!" That's $12,099. Drew asked if she meant $1299, to which she said no and insisted it was $12,099. Wow. Actual retail price is..............$2,400. Sorry, Mary.
But wait, Mary isn't the only moron on the show today. Meet Ferdinand, the same guy who proceeded to group Satya, the newest contestant to bidder's row after her name was called. In fact he lifted her off the ground and twirled her around two full rotations. But I digress. Next item up for bid was a Venetian, cast iron outdoor fireplace from Thebluerooster.com. Satya bid $400, Mary bid $450 and Patricia threw out $275 (which was stupid, why not just bid $1). In steps Ferdinand. Now listen, you've only got $125 separating Patricia and Satya's bid. There's not much room for error there, and the fireplace HAS to be more than $450. But he bid $276 instead of $451. Mary won and had the chance to win a new car, which bothers me. She's clearly and idiot and won by default (because Ferdinand is a bigger idiot) and yet she gets lucky and has a chance to win a car. Thankfully the world restored order and she lost.
While I was blogging this, Ferdinand just proved again that he does not know how to play the game. Fourth item up for bid was a 3-in-1 game table with pool, table hockey and foozeball. Bobby bid $750, Charita bid $550 and Patricia bid $299 (again, just bid a dollar). Ferdinand, if you think it's more than $750, just bid $751. Instead he bid $899. Actual retail value was $587, so he wouldn't have won anyway, but it proves my point, he's retarded.
And Ferdinand just shocked the world. He just won the fifth item up for bid and got to play the Mountain Climber game. Unfortunately for Ferdinand, his stroke of intelligence was brief and clearly a fluke. For those of you unaware, you have to guess the price of up to three items, and for each dollar amount you are off, the mountain climber ascends the hill the number of notches you are off for each respective item. Among the three items, you are allowed to be off by a total of $25 before the climber falls off the mountain. But if you keep him on it after all three items, you win the prize.
Ferdinand's first item was recipe cards from Betty Crocker. He guessed $25 and the actual price was $17. He was off by $8 and so the climber ascended eight notches. Not bad. If he did that two more times, he'd win. Next item was a ceramic pitcher. Nice looking item, not cheap by any means. Ferdinand went ahead and bid $15 for this not cheap item. He was wrong, and the mountain climber began his ascent up the hill. He hit 20 at which point Drew began clamoring for the thing to "STOP!!! STOP!!! STOP!!!" But to no avail, as the climber plunged off the hill and ended the game for Ferdinand. Actual price was $35, meaning Ferdinand was off by a solid $20. Just awful. I hope he makes the showcase...stay tuned...
Alright Ferdinand had a disappointing showing with the wheel so he's out. It's down to Charita and Kathlene. First showcase is...a collection of designer watches from Gucci, Burberry and more. A full living room set. And a pair of Honda motorcycles. She passed it along to Kathlene. She bid $45, 353. At first I panicked for Kathlene. But I think she's okay here.
Second showcase is...a remote control plane (bet she wishes she didn't pass it). A hot air balloon trip in Colorado. This is awful right now. They better turn it up. Okay a six-night stay in a log cabin in Hidden Pines. Not bad. But this is weak, they've done better. Last is air-to-air combat lessons at fighter school. This is brutal. Actually it's a 6-night trip to Vegas and a fighter pilot flying experience. I take back what I said earlier, this trip is bad-ass. She's got two sick trips and gets to fly in a combat plane. Wow. She bid $32,000. That's safe to me because Kathlene may have overbid. Let's wait and see...
Alright here we go. I was right. Wow. Kathlene's actual retail price of her showcase was only $20,182. Wow, I'm shocked. She was over by $25,000 that's awful, but great for Charita. Actual retail price of Charita was only $15,000. Holy sh*t. This wasn't even close. Double overs, how anticlimactic. Time for the 12 o'clock news. Later.
Case in point, a middle-aged woman named Mary today. The first item up for bid was a sauna from Almost Heaven. Right away I yelled $2200. It was a lock. So the first three people went and made standard bids of $4500, $1200, and $1400. Now listen, I know I already said 2200 was a lock. But there's no way that thing is more than $4500. So she could have done one of two things...bid $1 and hope it's less than $1200, which is stupid, or bid $1401 and assume it'll be between $1400 and $4500. It gave her the best chance to win. Even if she thought it was over $4500, all she had to do was bid $4501. But did she do any of those? Absolutely not. Instead, she bid "Twelve thousand ninety-nine dollars!!!" That's $12,099. Drew asked if she meant $1299, to which she said no and insisted it was $12,099. Wow. Actual retail price is..............$2,400. Sorry, Mary.
But wait, Mary isn't the only moron on the show today. Meet Ferdinand, the same guy who proceeded to group Satya, the newest contestant to bidder's row after her name was called. In fact he lifted her off the ground and twirled her around two full rotations. But I digress. Next item up for bid was a Venetian, cast iron outdoor fireplace from Thebluerooster.com. Satya bid $400, Mary bid $450 and Patricia threw out $275 (which was stupid, why not just bid $1). In steps Ferdinand. Now listen, you've only got $125 separating Patricia and Satya's bid. There's not much room for error there, and the fireplace HAS to be more than $450. But he bid $276 instead of $451. Mary won and had the chance to win a new car, which bothers me. She's clearly and idiot and won by default (because Ferdinand is a bigger idiot) and yet she gets lucky and has a chance to win a car. Thankfully the world restored order and she lost.
While I was blogging this, Ferdinand just proved again that he does not know how to play the game. Fourth item up for bid was a 3-in-1 game table with pool, table hockey and foozeball. Bobby bid $750, Charita bid $550 and Patricia bid $299 (again, just bid a dollar). Ferdinand, if you think it's more than $750, just bid $751. Instead he bid $899. Actual retail value was $587, so he wouldn't have won anyway, but it proves my point, he's retarded.
And Ferdinand just shocked the world. He just won the fifth item up for bid and got to play the Mountain Climber game. Unfortunately for Ferdinand, his stroke of intelligence was brief and clearly a fluke. For those of you unaware, you have to guess the price of up to three items, and for each dollar amount you are off, the mountain climber ascends the hill the number of notches you are off for each respective item. Among the three items, you are allowed to be off by a total of $25 before the climber falls off the mountain. But if you keep him on it after all three items, you win the prize.
Ferdinand's first item was recipe cards from Betty Crocker. He guessed $25 and the actual price was $17. He was off by $8 and so the climber ascended eight notches. Not bad. If he did that two more times, he'd win. Next item was a ceramic pitcher. Nice looking item, not cheap by any means. Ferdinand went ahead and bid $15 for this not cheap item. He was wrong, and the mountain climber began his ascent up the hill. He hit 20 at which point Drew began clamoring for the thing to "STOP!!! STOP!!! STOP!!!" But to no avail, as the climber plunged off the hill and ended the game for Ferdinand. Actual price was $35, meaning Ferdinand was off by a solid $20. Just awful. I hope he makes the showcase...stay tuned...
Alright Ferdinand had a disappointing showing with the wheel so he's out. It's down to Charita and Kathlene. First showcase is...a collection of designer watches from Gucci, Burberry and more. A full living room set. And a pair of Honda motorcycles. She passed it along to Kathlene. She bid $45, 353. At first I panicked for Kathlene. But I think she's okay here.
Second showcase is...a remote control plane (bet she wishes she didn't pass it). A hot air balloon trip in Colorado. This is awful right now. They better turn it up. Okay a six-night stay in a log cabin in Hidden Pines. Not bad. But this is weak, they've done better. Last is air-to-air combat lessons at fighter school. This is brutal. Actually it's a 6-night trip to Vegas and a fighter pilot flying experience. I take back what I said earlier, this trip is bad-ass. She's got two sick trips and gets to fly in a combat plane. Wow. She bid $32,000. That's safe to me because Kathlene may have overbid. Let's wait and see...
Alright here we go. I was right. Wow. Kathlene's actual retail price of her showcase was only $20,182. Wow, I'm shocked. She was over by $25,000 that's awful, but great for Charita. Actual retail price of Charita was only $15,000. Holy sh*t. This wasn't even close. Double overs, how anticlimactic. Time for the 12 o'clock news. Later.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
My life of unemployment
So I got laid off last week. Last Tuesday actually. Right after Barack O'Bama was inaugurated as the 44th President of the United States. Right after he spoke about "hope". And "change". And "creating more jobs for Americans". Right after I got back from DSW and spending $120 on two pairs of new shoes, one of which was for an interview I had scheduled with another company the following day. Oh the irony.
But alas, I have already developed a solid daily routine. I wake up by 8am, sometimes earlier if I bring my brother to school. At 8am I begin switching between FoxNews and The Today Show. At 9am it's Regis and Kelly, then back to the Today Show at 10am. Finally, at 11am, it's PIR. Nothing else. No excuses. Easily it's the greatest show on television whether you hate Drew Carey or not. At this point, I don't even care. I love the games, bidding on prizes and the idiots they allow on television.
Which is why I'm blogging right now. This morning there's a woman named "Claire" in the far right position on bidder's row. Through the first two bids, she made two of the biggest blunders I've ever seen. EVER. First up for bid was a tailgating set by Coleman. It was a full set, with a couple grills, several pieces of equipment, the whole nine yards. Claire was last to bid, and the highest bid at that point was $850. Apparently Claire felt the tailgating set cost more than $850, a point which I whole-heartedly agree with. However, instead of just bidding $851 and giving her a victory with any price over that amount, she went ahead and bid $1975. Drew looked at her with this incredulous look, then said, "You went with the year I graduated high school. Best of luck to you." Claire must know something we don't. Or she doesn't know anything at all. Turns out it was the latter. Actual retail price was $900 and Claire did not win.
Second item up for bid was an elliptical. The two highests bids prior to Claire's bid were $850 (again, please note) and $2200. Now, unless that elliptical comes with a big screen TV, personal service and massage therapy, that thing is not more than $2200. And the massive gap between $850 and $2200 would have been much too enticing for me not to bid $851. Instead, Claire took the over and went $2201. She didn't win.
For the third bid, Claire was bidding on a steamer and seemed to have her wits about her, bidding $850 (the irony of this number is incredible). The last bidder went with $851 (poor Claire) and won, considering the steamer was $2200. I can't believe a freakin steamer costs $2200. That thing better make my stuff looks like it's fresh out of an Asian dry cleaner.
As I was typing this, we just saw a tremendous duel in the showcase showdown spinning the wheel. A man and woman both spun $.90 so they went to OT. In the first OT, the guy went first and rolled a dismal $.15. You can't get much worse. There are only 3 numbers she can spin that will keep him alive, it's a gimme. Fortunately for him the woman had enough in her to spin the wheel around EXACTLY two times and land on $.15. So we went to double OT. He spun $.40 and she blew him out of the water with $.80 for a thrilling victory.
Claire just lost again. I'm resigned to the fact that she's the dumbest contestant in the history of PIR and will not be leaving bidder's row today.
For those of you fantasy football lovers, my dad sent me this video today. My jaw was hanging the entire time. I have trouble believing any of these actually happened and that it's merely a product of computer engineering. Either that or they shot these clips all day. No way they did any of these in one try. The margin for error is too small. But what troubles me most is the player roster for this...
Chris Cooley
Jason Campbell
Marques Colston (The best of the bunch)
Chris Chambers (a flop every year, not even the best WR on his team)
Marc Bulger (seriously?)
Mason Crosby (not bad, but he's a kicker)
Laurence Maroney (maybe this is why he is always injured...he's doing stupid stunts like this. Although it was pretty incredible.)
Regardless, I'm already pumped for next year's Fantasy Football season. Enjoy.
Which one is your favorite?
-Bess
But alas, I have already developed a solid daily routine. I wake up by 8am, sometimes earlier if I bring my brother to school. At 8am I begin switching between FoxNews and The Today Show. At 9am it's Regis and Kelly, then back to the Today Show at 10am. Finally, at 11am, it's PIR. Nothing else. No excuses. Easily it's the greatest show on television whether you hate Drew Carey or not. At this point, I don't even care. I love the games, bidding on prizes and the idiots they allow on television.
Which is why I'm blogging right now. This morning there's a woman named "Claire" in the far right position on bidder's row. Through the first two bids, she made two of the biggest blunders I've ever seen. EVER. First up for bid was a tailgating set by Coleman. It was a full set, with a couple grills, several pieces of equipment, the whole nine yards. Claire was last to bid, and the highest bid at that point was $850. Apparently Claire felt the tailgating set cost more than $850, a point which I whole-heartedly agree with. However, instead of just bidding $851 and giving her a victory with any price over that amount, she went ahead and bid $1975. Drew looked at her with this incredulous look, then said, "You went with the year I graduated high school. Best of luck to you." Claire must know something we don't. Or she doesn't know anything at all. Turns out it was the latter. Actual retail price was $900 and Claire did not win.
Second item up for bid was an elliptical. The two highests bids prior to Claire's bid were $850 (again, please note) and $2200. Now, unless that elliptical comes with a big screen TV, personal service and massage therapy, that thing is not more than $2200. And the massive gap between $850 and $2200 would have been much too enticing for me not to bid $851. Instead, Claire took the over and went $2201. She didn't win.
For the third bid, Claire was bidding on a steamer and seemed to have her wits about her, bidding $850 (the irony of this number is incredible). The last bidder went with $851 (poor Claire) and won, considering the steamer was $2200. I can't believe a freakin steamer costs $2200. That thing better make my stuff looks like it's fresh out of an Asian dry cleaner.
As I was typing this, we just saw a tremendous duel in the showcase showdown spinning the wheel. A man and woman both spun $.90 so they went to OT. In the first OT, the guy went first and rolled a dismal $.15. You can't get much worse. There are only 3 numbers she can spin that will keep him alive, it's a gimme. Fortunately for him the woman had enough in her to spin the wheel around EXACTLY two times and land on $.15. So we went to double OT. He spun $.40 and she blew him out of the water with $.80 for a thrilling victory.
Claire just lost again. I'm resigned to the fact that she's the dumbest contestant in the history of PIR and will not be leaving bidder's row today.
For those of you fantasy football lovers, my dad sent me this video today. My jaw was hanging the entire time. I have trouble believing any of these actually happened and that it's merely a product of computer engineering. Either that or they shot these clips all day. No way they did any of these in one try. The margin for error is too small. But what troubles me most is the player roster for this...
Chris Cooley
Jason Campbell
Marques Colston (The best of the bunch)
Chris Chambers (a flop every year, not even the best WR on his team)
Marc Bulger (seriously?)
Mason Crosby (not bad, but he's a kicker)
Laurence Maroney (maybe this is why he is always injured...he's doing stupid stunts like this. Although it was pretty incredible.)
Regardless, I'm already pumped for next year's Fantasy Football season. Enjoy.
Which one is your favorite?
-Bess
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