More importantly the C's must bring in Starbury. Rondo is playing great, but who's the back up PG? Eddie House? (avg. 1.1 assists per game). Gabe Pruitt? (0.8 assists per game). House is a great 3 point shooter, that should be his role come playoff time, not running an offense. The 2nd unit needs scoring. House is currently the best scorer off the bench, you would only help him and the bench as a whole by bringing in Marbury.
A sports blog for the American working man, because that's who I am, and that's who I care about.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Stephon Marbury Free to Play Basketball Again
More importantly the C's must bring in Starbury. Rondo is playing great, but who's the back up PG? Eddie House? (avg. 1.1 assists per game). Gabe Pruitt? (0.8 assists per game). House is a great 3 point shooter, that should be his role come playoff time, not running an offense. The 2nd unit needs scoring. House is currently the best scorer off the bench, you would only help him and the bench as a whole by bringing in Marbury.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Keefe's Oscar Picks
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Florida Panthers Play by Play
Monday, February 16, 2009
Shaq and the NBA All-Star Festivities - Random thoughts
Shaqawockeez:
Nas - "Hero":
By the way, I had my brother DVR the slam dunk contest from Saturday night and I had a chance to watch it before the game tonight. Rudy Fernandez got jobbed. The contest is becoming similar to voting for Gold Gloves in baseball...if you won the year before, or if you're name is synonymous with it, you get a pass. That's essentially what Dwight Howard and Nate Robinson got. It was evident in the judging and in the commentary by TNT. The line that bothered me the most was when one of the color guys said, "No one in this building knows who Fernandez is except for the Fernandez family..." Moments later, they mentioned that it was supposed to be Rudy Gay but he got injured and THE FANS voted in Fernandez. So hold on, the fans vote him in, but no one knows who he is? How does that make sense? Then he tosses it behind his back off the backboard and throws it down hard and gets a luke warm reception from the commentators. The fans loved, they went nuts, and then he got a 42. Check out the video below that shows both his dunks and listen to the commentary. They absolutely hated on Fernandez and it was b.s. and unprofessional.
(Note: I had not seen this part of the dunk contest until Besse posted it. That is incredible. I normally like those guys, Kevin Harlan, Reggie Miller, and Kenny Smith, but come on. Did they do any homework? Harlan says Fernandez was only in the contest because he was voted on after the Gay injury... well that's half right. Rudy was voted on (beating out rookies Russell Westbrook and Joe Alexander), but well before Rudy Gay got hurt. Why was J.R. Smith invited then? Oh right, to replace Gay.
And then how about a round of applause for Miller and the Jet for not knowing who Fernando Martin was, who Fernandez wore a jersey of his in his tribute, then proceeding to make fun of the guy until Harlan told them he was not only the 1st Spanish player in the NBA, but died in a car accident. Tough effort TNT.)
-Bess
Thursday, February 12, 2009
2009 Boston Red Sox pre-season report card
CATCHER
Starter: Jason Varitek
2008: .220/13/43
Bench: Josh Bard/George Kottaras
All winter I prayed that Epstein would come to his senses and part ways with the longtime Sox catcher. Let’s face it, his best days are far behind him. His bat continues to slow down, as evidenced by his 122 strikeouts in 2007 and 2008…in less than 450 at-bats. He managed to hit .255 in 2007, but raked .238 in ’06 and his average, slugging, OBP and OPS all dropped significantly last year in what became a difficult season to watch. His presence behind the plate and his rapport with the pitching staff is second to none in Major League Baseball. But it comes to a point where you wonder if the tradeoff from offense to defense is becoming a bit skewed, to a point where it’s best to look elsewhere. I think we’ve reached that point. The Sox put themselves in a difficult position by not preparing for this a few years ago. They’ve yet to acquire, via draft or trade, a catcher with MLB potential by the end of the decade. Because of that, the only options were to sign Varitek or trade the farm for a young player with the ability to start immediately. Bottom line is that the Sox were not in a favorable bargaining position. Teams had the ability to ask for key players in exchange for a catcher, and that left Boston between a rock and a hard place.
Backup: I like the signing of Bard. He had an injury plagued 2008, but he’s MLB ready and hit .338 and .285 in ’06 and ’07, respectively. Kottaras is merely insurance, but don’t expect a whole lot out of him unless you’re talking AAA. I’m setting the over/under for games started by Varitek at 117. And I’m taking the under. What ya got?
OVERALL GRADE: C-/B-
FIRST BASE
Starter: Kevin Youkilis
2008: .312/29/115
Bench: Chris Carter, Mark Kotsay
Can Youkilis repeat his incredible production from last season? And will he have the motivation to do so after signing his big contract this past off-season? It’s going to be interesting to see, especially considering some mitigating factors that are beyond Youkilis’ control. First and foremost is the continued absence of Manny Ramirez. Youkilis is most likely looking at an entire season as the cleanup hitter. He filled in admirably in more of a temporary role, but can he sustain his ’08 production over an entire season with that pressure on him? And of course there are the health concerns of David Ortiz and Mike Lowell. Any sort of protection he may have is certainly in question at this point, and health-wise, those two guys aren’t the only ones when you bring JD Drew. But aside from all that, Youkilis has continued to get better year in and year out, and while I don’t know whether he’s hit his ceiling or not, he’s too good a player and too hard a worker to have a significant slip in production. Factor in his gold glove defense and versatility in the field and you’ve got quite a player. While he’s not the most feared cleanup hitter in the game, he’s a hell of a run producer and will squeeze out extra bases more often than most players in the game. The Sox are in great shape with this guy.
Backup: This is where the Sox should be concerned. There’s the long-term option of Lars Anderson, but he was in High-A last year and it’s doubtful he’d be MLB ready by the end of the season. It’s certainly a possibility, and we’ll get a look at the kid in spring training, but immediate replacements for Youkilis are Carter and Kotsay, the latter of which is currently injured. I felt Sean Casey retiring was a major blow to the team, not just because of his clubhouse presence, but his ability to hit and contribute when filling in and giving Youkilis a blow. For now, let’s just hope that Youkilis and his blue collar mentality don’t take him to the DL anytime soon.
OVERALL GRADE: A/C+
SECOND BASE
Starter: Dustin Pedroia
2008: .326/17/83
Bench: Jed Lowrie
There may not be a better, more valuable player in baseball, particularly at second base in all of MLB. That’s evidenced by Pedroia’s unlikely MVP award at the end of last season. The guy does it all. He hits for average, has a high contact rate, can hit for power, drives in runs at the top of the lineup, scores and can steal bases at a high success rate. Not only that, but his defense is remarkable. He’s made only six errors in each of his first two official seasons, and he’s bound for a highlight reel play at least once a week. Boston made the right move in locking up both Pedroia and Youkilis fairly long term, because these are two guys that can serve as a cornerstone as a franchise, not just in terms of play and production, but their gritty, hard working mentalities serve well in the clubhouse with their teammates and are exemplary for younger players coming up.
Backup: Like Casey, the loss of Alex Cora will hit harder than most people think. Cora was the model utility man, able to fill in at every possible infield position and do it well. Not only that, but while he wasn’t a beast with the bat, he could do the little things, like laying down a bunt, moving a runner over or working a count. Lowrie is still young, and it remains to be seen if he’s the everyday shortstop or not. But you can bet he’ll most likely be filling in at second if and when Pedroia needs a blow or suffers an injury. His youth and inexperience concern me, but he’s quite serviceable.
OVERALL GRADE: A/A-
SHORTSTOP
Starter: Jed Lowrie
2008: .258/2/46
Bench: Julio Lugo
Lowrie was thrust into the starting role after Lugo, who had been struggling anyway, severely injured his hamstring. And the rookie started off well, having a solid month of August hitting .284 with 24 RBI. But he struggled down the stretch and a non-displaced wrist fracture along with hitting the proverbial “rookie wall” all had a factor in the decline. He has to be the favorite to start here, because Lugo is simply too much of a risk. His defense is porous, he no longer has pop (I wonder why?) and he doesn’t utilize his tools as he should, i.e. get on base and steal bases. Lowrie, meanwhile, seems to play with a more deliberate, tactical approach. He makes the routine plays and manages solid at-bats. He was a solid run producer, even in the midst of his September swoon, and his switch hitting ability makes him an even more attractive option. I think he’ll continue to improve and settle in during his first full season, and I can only hope that Lugo is okay with the fact that he won’t be the every day starter. Even so, Lugo is going to get some looks. On days when the likes of Pedroia, Lowell or possibly even Youkilis need a breath, Lowrie is a nice option to fill-in, which will open up some playing time for Lugo. I think it could turn into a situation much like Coco Crisp last season: while he’s the designated back-up, there could be some varied mixing and matching that enables him to get enough looks to appease the pricey shortstop. For $9M, Epstein and Francona have to feel some pressure in getting Lugo in and trying to utilize some of the tools they thought they signed, particularly his speed. Will it happen? That remains to be seen, and spring training will tell a lot.
GRADE: B/C+
THIRD BASE
Starter: Mike Lowell
2008: .274/17/73
Bench: Jed Lowrie, Kevin Youkilis
This is certainly a major concern for Boston, and the reason they were in the mix for Mark Texeira during the off-season. When healthy, Lowell is a great player both offensively and defensively. He reinvigorated his career after joining the Sox and had a breakout season in 2007 that earned him a new, lucrative deal. It was well deserved, but age was a concern that those concerns were justified when Lowell severely injured his right hip last season. It hindered his ability to hit and field, and we all remember that painful looking throw he made in Tampa last season, fielding the ball on the run and making an off-balance throw. It hurt just to watch. He most likely won’t be ready until the start of the season, so fans and the team will need to be patient as he finds his bearings over the first couple weeks of play. But if he stays healthy, it could be vital to the success of the franchise. He can hit for power and average, and would serve as protection for Youkilis in the 5-spot. More importantly, it would allow for the likes of JD Drew and Jason Bay to hit lower in the order and take pressure off them to produce in the middle of the lineup.
Backup: If Lowell can’t go, expect to see Lugo at short and Lowrie at third. All in all, things could be a heck of a lot worse. While they’ll lose a lot of power, Lowrie will be extremely serviceable at third, and Lugo will then have his starting role back. It’ll add some speed to the lineup, but like I said, the Sox will lose a lot of pop. While it won’t be the end of the world, the Sox are definitely better with a healthy Lowell in the lineup, that’s for sure.
GRADE: B+/B-
LEFT FIELD
Starter: Jason Bay
2008: .286/31/101
Bay was a pleasant surprise to me when Boston acquired him at the deadline last year. He hit for .293/9/37 in 49 games and for a while, helped Boston fans get over the debacle that was Manny Ramirez come the end of his tenure in a Red Sox uniform. While it’s important to remember that Bay was not brought in to replace Manny, nor should he be expected to, he serves as a great 5 or 6 hitter in the lineup and adds tremendous depth to what could potentially be a seriously potent offensive attack. He’s only 30, so there’s a high ceiling for this guy. The only question is whether he can sustain this over an entire season. Remember, he did a lot of damage in Pittsburgh last year, and while he played well in Boston after coming over, it was kind of a whirlwind experience. Now that he’s settled in and has an entire season in Boston, dealing with the fans, media, etc. ahead of him, it’ll be interesting to see if there’s a hangover. I don’t expect one, but it’s something to watch out for.
GRADE: A-
CENTER FIELD
Starter: Jacoby Ellsbury
2008: .280/9/47/50 SB
Ellsbury got off to a fast start last season, literally. He stole 26 bases in his first two months, and everyone seemed to think the kid had officially arrived. But he went through a rough stretch in June and July, failing to hit over .250 in either month. He came on strong in August and September, but his .188 postseason average was a bit of a concern, particularly considering how well he did in the World Series in 2007. Attribute it to growth, and the fact that it was Ellsbury’s first full season in MLB. Now that Coco Crisp has gone off to Kansas City, the job is undoubtedly his, and there will no longer be rumblings as to whether anyone behind him should be getting more looks. The important thing for Ellsbury in 2009 will not necessarily be the need to hit .300 or even remotely close to that, but to just find a way to get on base. His game speed is unlike anyone else in the game, and Boston will need him to jumpstart the offense by stealing bases and grabbing extra bases on hits, whether by him or a teammate behind him. His defense is remarkable due to that speed, but one downside is his arm. It’s Damon-like. But he’ll rob enough hitters of singles, doubles and triples in the gap to make up for his deficiency in the throwing department. He’s still got some growing to do, but looking at how he bounced back later in the season last year, it shows that mentally he is stronger than most at his age.
GRADE: B+
RIGHT FIELD
Starter: JD Drew
2008: .280/19/64
So Drew had a “nice” season. Looking at the final numbers, they weren’t all that bad. But one number that is alarming is 109, which is the total number of games he played. Keep in mind, 16 of those homeruns and 49 of those RBIs came by June 30. Not good. Drew was healthy by the post-season and came up with a couple huge homeruns, but it’s safe to say that he’ll never make through an entire season without some significant time on the DL. That’s really his only downside. I think Drew is one of the best pure hitters in the game, and when healthy, he’s dangerous, especially if he’s hitting 6 or 7 in this lineup, which is where I project he’ll be. Take a look at his month of June when he hit .337 with 12 homeruns and 27 RBI and you’ll see just how good he can be when he’s hot. Defensively, he’s a solid player and covers a lot of ground in that large right field area at Fenway. But again, health is a concern, and that dims any optimistic outlooks anyone may have towards Drew.
GRADE: B
RESERVE OUTFIELDER(S)
Rocco Baldelli
2008: .263/4/13
This is a good signing for the Sox. Baldelli seems to regaining his health and his return to form, and he brings a lot of nice tools to the table. He can hit for average and power and brings speed and defense to the table, as well. With Crisp gone and Kotsay injured, the Sox were in need of a solid reserve outfielder. That’s an important void to fill with Drew’s health in question and concerns over Ellsbury’s ability to sustain an entire MLB season. So they brought in a hometown kid who seems to be on the upswing. Hopefully he stays healthy as well, or else they could really be in trouble.
Other players: Mark Kotsay, Chris Carter, Jonathan van Every and Brad Wilkerson
The Wilkerson signing is likely the most influential of the bunch here. Kotsay is expected to miss the first month after back surgery, and it’s hard to expect Carter and van Every to contribute meaningful AB’s with such little experience. But Boston got Wilkerson on a minor league deal, and he’s a proven veteran that has nine seasons under his belt. His 32-homer season in 2004 was a long time ago, and that certainly won’t happen again, but nonetheless, the guy knows the game and could be a major asset if any of the outfielders go down.
GRADE: C
DESIGNATED HITTER
Starter: David Ortiz
2008: .264/23/89
Probably the biggest question mark of the Red Sox lineup. Can Ortiz get over his wrist injury and return to previous years’ form? He was clearly affected by that tendon tear in his wrist last season, as well as the loss of Manny Ramirez protecting him in the 4-hole. But Ortiz is still a threat when healthy, and if he can hit 30 homers and drive in 100 runs, I think that will ease the worries of Red Sox Nation. Let’s face it: it’s hard to rationalize believing he can hit 40 or 50 homers and drive in 120-130 runs again, not with Ramirez gone and Ortiz seemingly beginning a downswing in his career. But if we taper off our expectations and gear our hopes towards a healthy 2009 with solid, respectable numbers, it will make things more bearable in Boston and take some pressure off Ortiz to do too much.
GRADE: B+
STARTING PITCHING
Projected Rotation:
Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Tim Wakefield, Brad Penny
Beckett showed up to spring training in much better shape than he did last year, and that’s important. The Sox will need him to anchor this rotation because it’s one of the best in the game when he’s at his best. Dice-K will continue to be a heart attack in waiting, but he’s effective and gets the job done and that’s what counts. Meanwhile, Lester is ever-improving, and it’s hard not to get excited about a kid who made a tremendous leap last season, going 16-6 with a 3.21 and tossing a no-hitter. Wakefield is Wakefield, and he’ll probably win at least 10 games, lose a lot of one-run games, but give the Sox a chance to win in 75% of his starts. He’s good for a beatdown now and then, but he dishes more than he takes, and that’s huge for an aging knuckleball pitcher. Penny, meanwhile, is an interesting wildcard. This guy was a beast in L.A. in 2006 and 2007, the latter of which he went 16-9 with a 3.03 ERA over 208 innings. If he gets over the injuries that nagged him last season and resulted in a poor 6-9 campaign with a 6+ ERA, having him anchor the Sox rotation will be crucial. Imagine sending your team’s fifth starter up against Penny. At his best, he’s a low-end #1 guy, and certainly a middle of the rotation pitcher on a bad day. But to have him at the end of your rotation? Amazing. Let’s hope he regains his health. And as Rich pointed out to me this morning, he believes Smoltz could be starting come end of May/June. He has a point. If a starter goes down and Smoltz is healthy, they could gear his appearances to building up arm strength and having the ability to go out and give five lockdown innings. It remains to be seen, and will depend a lot of the health of all parties involved.
GRADE: A-
BULLPEN
Jonathan Papelbon, Hideki Okajima, Takashi Saito, Manny Delcarmen, Justin Masterson, John Smoltz(?), Javier Lopez, Ramon Ramirez
I don’t know about you, but I’m really excited about this bullpen heading into 2009. Papelbon is one of the best closers in baseball. And now he’s got some pieces that could not only get him more opportunities to save games in the 9th, but fill in when he’s in need of rest. Okajima is clearly the 8th inning guy. He’s received a lot of praise during his impressive stretches, but some serious criticism in times of struggle. But he’s handled it professionally and recovered well. He had a great postseason in 2008 and rebounded from that horrific month of June during which he compiled a 9+ ERA. But the signings of Saito and Smoltz are tremendous because they could potentially take a lot of pressure off of not just Okajima, but everyone else in the bullpen as well. Delcarmen is going to see less responsibility, but that’s a good thing. He struggled in tight situations last year and having a less critical role could be a confidence builder and nice way to start ’09. Meanwhile, it will give Okajima more opportunities for rest and hopefully prevent him from hitting the proverbial wall. Smoltz is better served in the bullpen here, especially coming off major shoulder surgery. If he recovers nicely, and it’s hard to believe he won’t with his work ethic, he has the mentality to serve in a myriad of roles. Unlike Gagne, I think Smoltz can handle not being the 9th inning guy. He’s bounced back and forth from starter to closer on a couple occasions and showed no signs of struggle, so you know he’s a mentally strong guy. Saito, meanwhile, was the closer in L.A. and got bounced out in favor of Jonathan Broxton. His age and arm trouble allowed for the change, but with his high strikeout ratio, it’s hard to believe he can’t continue his solid production in the 7th or 8th innings. Masterson, meanwhile, will be the long relief and spot start guy, and that’s a great role for him. He’s also apt to come in during double play situations, and he showed terrific poise in tight spots last season. Lopez will continue to serve as the situational lefty, and it was nice to see him more effective in that role last season. And lest we forget Ramon Ramirez, a reliever acquired in the Crisp deal who had an ERA in the mid 2's last year. He could contribute meaningful innings. Thank god Mike Timlin is gone.
GRADE: A
Overall, I think Boston is going to do what it normally does. Compete night in and night out and be right at the top of the AL East, or battling for the top spot, all season long. It’s possible to argue Boston may be the 3rd best team in its division right now, but a lot of that is based on the injuries and question marks it’s facing heading into 2009. But with tremendous depth, the best manager in baseball and a great front office, you can never count out Boston regardless of what injuries and internal strife it’s hit with. Right now, there’s a lot of upside if certain low risk situations play out with high reward. The pitching will anchor this team and give this team a chance every night. While there are concerns at catcher, third base, shortstop and with Ortiz, there are enough tools and options offensively to combat those issues with the pitching staff currently in place. That being said, I’m optimistic this team can compete for a World Series if injuries don’t plague them once again.
OVERALL GRADE: B+, purely because of the wait-and-see outlook for some important pieces of this team
Let us know what you think about the Red Sox heading into 2009.
-Bess
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Keefe's Fave Fives
NBA Players
1. Paul Pierce
2. Deron Williams
3. Dwyane Wade
4. O.J. Mayo
5. Gilbert Arenas
NFL Players
1. Terrell Owens
2. Randy Moss
3. Clinton Portis
4. Anquan Boldin
5. Chad Johnson
MLB Players
1. Ken Griffey, Jr.
2. Grady Sizemore
3. Carl Crawford
4. Dan Haren
5. Gary Sheffield
NHL Players (haven't watched a game in 7 years)
1. Billy Guerin
2. Mike Modano
3. Jeremy Roenick
4. Joe Thornton
5. Joe Sakic
MMA Fighters
1. Rampage Jackson
2. Tito Ortiz
3. Alistair Overeem
4. Chris Leben
5. Vitor Belfort
NASCAR Drivers
1. ?
2. ?
3. Ricky Bobby
4. Cal Naughton, Jr.
5. Dick Trickle (had to)
College Basketball Teams of the Past:
1. Michigan 1991-1993
2. UNLV 1989-1991
3. Missouri 2001-2002
4. UConn 1998-1999
5. UMass 1995-1996
WWF Wrestlers
1. Ultimate Warrior
2. Edge (before he was a champ)
3. Razor Ramon
4. Diesel
5. HBK Shawn Michaels
Comedy Films
1. Old School
2. Made
3. Wedding Crashers
4. Swingers
5. 40 Year Old Virgin
Horror Films
1. Scream
2. Halloween (1978)
3. The Devil's Rejects
4. Basic Instinct
5. Saw
Non-Comedy/ Horror Films
1. Snatch
2. True Romance
3. Sin City
4. Fight Club
5. The Dark Knight
-Keefe
Also, you may have already noticed the addition of a couple of links on the right, under the section "Friends of the Brief." If you want the goods on WWF/WWE from days gone by as well as today click on "Big Leg Drop," and/or if you want the latest on Patriots news with opinion hit up the "Pats Fan Blog."
Besse is working on a Red Sox Preseason Report Card, so check back soon for that.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Running Price is Right blog, Monday, 2/9
First game is Flip Flop. It was over in less than 30 seconds. That was unbelievable. Guy was going for two bikes and there were two amounts, “79” and “89” side by side. The price of the bikes was NOT $7989, but he could flip either or both of the numbers to make a new price. He went for $7998. Drew revealed the retail price and it was $9798. Game over. Just like that. Kind of sucks. I’d want to be up there for at least two minutes. This guy had like 30 seconds.
Second item up for bid is an electric range. No clue. Don’t even want it. And we just had an awkward moment and a funny one within a minute of each other. First off a woman got outbid by $1 for the second game in a row. And she lost because of it. So Drew goes, “Oh man, Ruth that’s the second…” and then Ruth interrupts Drew on her microphone and goes, “Excuse me, Drew? Can you please call me Ruthie?”
I mean really? You’re on the PIR and you have the balls to ask Drew to call you Ruthie? Who the hell do you think you are?
So the guy that outbid “Ruthie” goes up and tells Drew, “I want that car. Give me that car!” Then they open up the door and “IT’S A NEW CARRRRRR!” This guy obviously read my blog last week when I claimed they always give a car away by the second bidding. And now he’s playing Hole-in-One. Drew just took a practice shot and lipped out. Little too much steam on it. But this guy is putting from the closest line because he just guessed the price of all six items. This guy is awesome. He’s putting from less than a foot away and he is taking practice cuts. My dad just walked in and goes, “How can he miss, look at the size of the f*cking hole.” The guy just put it in the center of the cup and won the car.
And we just came back from commercial and Drew was in the crowd with the guy that won the car. He forgot that the guy won an extra $500 for getting the price of all the grocery items right. He had to repeat it 3 times because the guy couldn’t hear him, and once he realized what Drew was saying he jumped out of his seat and leapt around for a few seconds some more. These people are priceless.
“Ruthie” just had her vengeance. She was last to bid and outbid the highest win by $1. And she won. But I have to comment on the second woman who bid. The first bid was $440. She bid $445. Really? Just save yourself the trouble and bid $441. I don’t understand what people are thinking. So “Ruthie” is going for a dinette set, guitar and LCD TV. She has to guess the item that costs the most. “Ruthie” announced she thought it was the dinette set, but that her friends said it was the LCD TV. I’m not sure why she’s even debating this. It’s clearly the LCD TV. It’s like a 50”, this isn’t even close. If they can fit the dinette set on the same stage as a guitar and TV, the set obviously isn’t a) that big and b) that nice. She decided to listen to her friends, thank god. So they’re revealing the prices. The dinette set is $1099 and guitar is $1699. Drew just told her that if she’d listened to herself, she would’ve lost already. The TV is $2199 and “Ruthie” just won, but it was very undeserving. Onto the wheel…
David is first to go. He’s the only person who didn’t win so far. First spin was $.25. This is not David’s day. He just spun $1.00 so he’s over. What a miserable outing on the show. “Ruthie” is spinning now. She got $.40. She’s spinning again. If she goes over this dude automatically wins. Nope. Oh jesus. She didn’t even make it all the way around. She’s spinning again. Barely made it around. Oh god. She got another $.55. She’s at $.95. This is annoying. This chick is retarded and weak and she’s dominating. So Harold is spinning and he just announced “My wife is pregnant and I’d like to give all my glory to God, he changed my life.” In other words, you’re a recovering drug addict. Drew quickly focused on the baby though, congratulating him and asking if it was his first. It’s not, it’s his second. The first one is probably a crack baby. Harold went over, “Ruthie” advances. Truly a sign of the Apocolypse.
Fourth item up for bid is a fooze ball table. The screaming chick from earlier? She just won. This is awful. She just turned it into an open mic session. She’s giving shout out after shout out. And she has the biggest beak I’ve ever seen. Not only in terms of length, but the shear girth of this thing is tremendous. It actually goes up before sloping back down. It’s got like levels. This is crazy. She is trying to win a trip to China, a wine cabinet and a toy car. This is crazy. There were nine numbers listed and she had to guess the price of each. The China trip was four consecutive numbers, the cabinet was three and the toy car was two. I called it right off the bat, but she went in a different direction. Then she went back and moved stuff around for an entire minute before settling with what she originally had. If you’re gonna go through all that trouble and keep us waiting, at least make a freakin’ change. Rightfully so, she was wrong, I was right. Take your beak back to your seat and wait for the wheel you bird.
Next item up for bid is a new laptop computer from Dell. I’m going with $1100. Wow, it was $1104. That’s awesome. Jacob just won and he’s up on stage screaming “USCCCCCCCC!!!” He just apologized to Drew. I think he realizes how obnoxious he is right now. And naturally, this loser is going for a new car. I like this game. That’s-Too-Much. He has to find the price that is JUST over the actual price of the car. This guy is lost. Wow, he guessed that $19,552 was too much and he was about $2K under. That’s tough. Maybe that’ll shut him up.
Oh wow this last item for bid is sick. An Xbox360 and PS3 with RockBand, GuitarHero and more. Wow Shirley is new to bidder’s row and she went with $1,032. God. This bothers me. Second bid was $1400. Third bid was $1401. And Kira started jumping up and down right away and screamed out “$1402!!!” See that just bothers me. You’re rubbing it in the face of the people next to you. I wanted nothing more than for her to lose. Okay I really hate this chick. She had to guess the price of a new spa. It was either $7213 or $8187. She was breathing heavy and jumping and yelled out Alkazam and won. Why do annoying, stupid people always seem to win. She’ll probably win the wheel too. In fact I’m calling it. She’s gonna win the wheel AND the showcase showdown. In fact I’ll go a step further and say she’ll spin $1.00 on the wheel and win both showcases. That’s how much I hate this chick.
Alright Jacob is up first. He wanted to give his shout out before even spinning. Drew had to tell him to spin first and then he could say whatever he wanted. And we just found out he’s probably gay. He gave a shout out to his family AND the girls from some sorority that he came with. He’s definitely the gay friend. Then Andrea stepped up and spun so hard she wiped out. I was typing and looked up to find her picking herself up off the floor. My pick Kira just went over. Thank god. I was hoping I’d jink her.
Speaking of which, I’d like to give a shout out to my buddy Kevin. He’s now lost 7 straight on Streak for Cash. He took John Rollins yesterday to win the Buick Invitational. The guy had a 3 stroke lead with 8 to play and lost. So he texted me and told me he was at six, and that the Utah Jazz were screwed because he took them last night AT Golden State. I immediately panicked because I had gotten two in a row but also took the Jazz. Then after thinking about it, I figured I’d stick with my pick because it seemed like a gimme. If you haven’t seen the movie “The Cooler” yet, check it out, because that’s what Kevin is right now. The Jazz got smoked by 20 and my streak is back at zero while Kevin sits at 7 losses in a row.
Back to PIR. First showcase is up! First item is a living room group with tables, lamps, rug and couches. An inversion table. Some stupid exercise machine. “Ruthie” is pretending to be excited. And then there’s a sailboat. She looks blown away by all of this. The showcase sucks and I think she’s going to bid on it. Oh wow I’m surprised she passed it. Even Drew was surprised. He said to her, “You seem really excited about this showcase.” And Jacob just bid $23,000. And he already lost if “Ruthie” bids $1. He’s definitely over. There’s no way that thing is higher than $17,000. She’s going for an evening gown, a six-day cruise and a 3-day trip to London. And $3,000 cash. I’d say $19,000, but again, I’d only bid $1. I’m sure Jacob is over. And “Ruthie” just asked, “So I need to add them ALL up?” Really? What else are you going to do? Oh my god. This is unbelievable. She’s sounding it out with her friends over the microphone. That was really annoying. Especially when someone started to tell her $75,000 and she said, “Oh you craaaazyyyy.” She ended up bidding $17,000. I think she’s better off with $1 but she’s probably still going to win.
Actual retail price of “Ruthie’s” showcase was $19,312. For the record, if I had bid my $19,000 I would win both showcases. Let that be known. Jacob is up. Actual retail price is $20,469. He’s over, just like I said. Go back to your sorority, pal.
I just asked my dad what the odds were of him cheffing up an egg sandwich for me. He mumbled, “Umm, I don’t know.” Then proceeded to tell me there were “plenty of other things out here.” In other words, he doesn’t feel like cooking. He just came in and asked if I’d settle for scrambled. I’ll take it. So I’m gonna take care of the toast. I’ll see ya.
-Bess
Thursday, February 5, 2009
The Sports Brief's MMA Rankings (2-5-09)
1. Fedor Emelianenko
2. Brock Lesnar
3. Andrei Arlovski
4. Frank Mir
5. Josh Barnett
6. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira
7. Randy Couture
8. Tim Sylvia
9. Alistair Overeem
10. Chiek Kongo
Gabriel Gonzaga, Shane Carwin, Ben Rothwell, Fabricio Werdum, Heath Herring, Aleksander Emelianenko, Mirko Cro Cop, Junior Dos Santos
Fedor remains on top with his win over Arlovski. Upcoming fights: Cain Velasquez is in action this weekend, Junior Dos Santos fights in 2 weeks at UFC 95, but next month at UFC 96 Gonzaga vs. Carwin. You got to wait until May for Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir II for the unification of the UFC Heavyweight belt.
Light Heavyweight:
1. Rashad Evans
2. Quinton Jackson
3. Lyoto Machida
4. Forrest Griffin
5. Chuck Liddell
6. Maurcio ‘Shogun’ Rua
7. Babalu Sobral
8. Wanderlei Silva
9. Keith Jardine
10. Thiago Silva
Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Luis Cane, Tito Ortiz, Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou, Vladimir Matyushenko, Brandon Vera, Jon Jones
Lyoto just beat Thiago in a top 10 showdown, and Bababu took down Soko and Lil Nog over the Janitor at Affliction 2. Upcoming fights: Rampage vs. Jardine in March. What? I don't get it either. Shogun and Iceman in April, barring injury. Some other good matchups as well including Luis Cane and Brandon Vera fight, but not each other.
Middleweight:
1. Anderson Silva
2. Dan Henderson
3. Rich Franklin
4. Robbie Lawler
5. Vitor Belfort
6. Yushin Okami
7. Gegard Mousasi
8. Michael Bisping
9. Nathan Marquardt
10. Thales Leites
Cung Le (Le had been in our top 10, but due to inactivity, we bumped him. The rational there being, we aren’t ranking Royce Gracie and Dan Severn, so Le will have to sit it out until he fights again.) Jorge Santiago, Matt Lindland, Denis Kang, Chael Sonnen, Paulo Filho, Frank Trigg, Patrick Cote, Frank Shamrock, Kazuo Misaki, Yoshihiro Akiyama, Demian Maia, Chris Leben, Ricardo Almeida, Ronaldo Souza
Besse and I can't make head or tails of this division outside of Anderson Silva. Hendo beat Franklin at 205, but Henderson will be a TUF coach vs. Bisping and fight him at 185. Leites gets the title fight with Silva. Belfort is more than back on the map after whoopin up on Lindland. Upcoming fights: UFC 95: Marquart vs. Wilson Gouveia and Chael Sonnen vs. Demian Maia.
Welterweight:
1. Georges St. Pierre
2. Jon Fitch
3. Jake Shields
4. Thiago Alves
5. Josh Koscheck
t-6. Matt Hughes
t-6. Matt Serra
8. Karo Parisyan
9. Carlos Condit
10. Jay Hieron
Nick Thompson, Mike Swick, Marcus Davis, Drew Fickett
GSP retained the belt with a 4 round demolition over Penn. Next up for St. Pierre will be Thiago Alves. Jon Fitch got a decision win on the GSP/Penn undercard. Diego Sanchez drops off the list as he is heading to Lightweight. Upcoming fights: UFC 95 Josh Koscheck vs. Paul Thiago. Carlos Condit makes his UFC debut (as the WEC has stopped welterweight fights) taking on Martin Kampann at a Fight Night to start April.
Lightweight:
1. BJ Penn
2. Shinya Aoki
3. Eddie Alverez
4. Joachim Hansen
5. JZ Cavalcante
6. Josh Thomson
7. Tatsuya Kawajiri
8. Sean Sherk
9. Kenny Florian
10. Gilbert Melendez
Satoru Kitaoka, Takanori Gomi, KJ Noons, Nick Diaz, Victor Ribero, Joe Stevenson, Roger Huerta, Frankie Edgar
Penn loses to GSP, but he is still the best Lightweight in the world, regardless of what WAMMA says, Aoki beat Sanchez for that destinction. Diego Sanchez could make a splash when he faces Joe Stevenson. Gomi loses again to Kitaoka this time and is out of the Top 10 for the 1st time since we've done this. Where will Huerta fight next after leaving the UFC?
Upcoming Events:
UFC Fight Night 17 (Feb. 7th)
UFC 95 (Feb. 21st)
WEC 39 (March 1st)
UFC 96 (March 7th)
Dream 7 (March 8th)
Running PIR blog, Thursday 2/5
Alright, just saw commercials for Joe-4-Oil and the Survivor promo, so PIR is coming up…and here it is!!! The contestants are being called down. And we have our first psycho running back and forth up and down the aisle. I officially don’t want him to win already. Kaillah was the last one called and she’s super hot. Like SUPER hot. I don’t want her to win more that this Michael dude now so I can watch her on bidder’s row all day.
First up for bid is a 4-night stay in San Diego. I’ll say $1500. Yumeika with $3500. That seems high. Actual price is $2,220. Michael won. He’s going nuts again. I can’t tell if he’s high or just retarded. And then they give him a new car. That slowed him down a bit. I thought it would do the opposite but this is good. He’s suddenly serious. I don’t know what the hell this game is that he’s playing, but I hope it’s hard. Apparently he has to guess if the prices given to random items are true or false. The more he gets right, the more “picks” he gets at guessing the price of the car. They have five possible prices listed, so the more picks the higher the odds of him winning. He’s 2 for 2 so far. This isn’t good. I really don’t want this guy to win. Jesus he’s good. He’s 3 for 3 now. Last item is a blimp phone. $65 true or false. I saw false. Michael loses, he went 3 for 4. So he gets 3 picks at the price of the car from these price tags. Hahaha I can’t believe he just did that. He was pointing at one asking the crowd and pulled it off while still asking if they thought he should pick it. But he didn’t realize there is a big “YES” or “NO” under each of them. So when he pulled it off the buzzer rang to say “NO”. He was so confused because he hadn’t picked it, but it’s not like he can put it back after seeing the big letters telling him “NO”. I love it. His other two picks were wrong. Serves this d-bag right. Calm down next and don’t climb over the chairs and do sprints up and down the aisle when you get called to bidder’s row. Act like a normal, excited human being, not some retarded, belligerent monkey.
First commercial on the break is for Nutri-system. This is such a scandal. A buddy of mine tried this once and said the meals were for birds. Apparently they’re smaller than Lean Cuisines, and you’re only losing weight because you’re practically not eating. It’s like putting people on an anorexia diet but allowing them to cheat a little three times a day. Have you seen the one with Chris Berman on it? I know the guy is overweight, but there’s no way he was ever as fat as the picture they show of him on the commercial. He looks like he was birthing octuplets. Speaking of which, I can’t believe that stupid woman is going to get a TV series. The idiot already had six kids and could have done something to alter the number of embryos for this pregnancy. It’s clear that she moved forward with the pregnancy for the purpose of landing a TV or book deal and she’s getting it. Personally, I think social services should take the kids from her and no one should give her anything. Punish the woman – not the kids – for being a greedy, money hungry idiot.
Next item up for bid is a set of “cool” guitars. They’re awful and they’re for chicks. Thankfully it’s all chicks up on bidder’s row, including my girl Kaillah. I wouldn’t even bid. Damnit, Kaillah won. I really didn’t want that to happen. I was hoping she’d be up there all day. Apparently she’s a dental hygienist and let me tell you, she’s got a great set…of teeth. Alright she’s trying to win a Harley Davidson and she’s pumped. I like that, a hot biker chick. I bet she’s one of those that loves riding the back of a bike so she can get an orgasm. My cousin Brett used to ride all the time and he said chicks would ask him to get on for a ride for that sole reason. Can you imagine? I’d go for the nearest parking lot and blow over every speed bump at 60mph until I felt her nails digging into my love handles. She didn’t win. Oh well.
Back from commercial, third item for bidding is a day sailer. With a tie-dye sail. How hideous. Yumeika from Detroit just won it. She may live by the Great Lakes, but I guarantee this bitch never steps foot on that day sailer. That thing won’t fit in the blow up pool in the backyard, but maybe they can flood the lawn with the hose and see if it works.
She’s trying to win three prizes, and she has to guess the item with the wrong price tag. She went with the Louie Vitton bags. I’d like to know how she got that right. Her Louie Vitton bags probably fell off the back of a truck, so there’s no way she could know the actual price. Lucky guess , I suppose.
Alright time to spin the wheel! My girl is up first. She got $.65. And she’s spinning again. I don’t like it. The crowd is booing. She spun it around exactly two times and landed on $.65 again. And her day is over. That’s upsetting. Michael is up and he’s criticizing Kaillah. Bush league. I’d jump this dude if I was there right now. No one talks about my girl like that. And Yumeika just spun. She was so busy showing us a picture of her illegitimate baby that she didn’t realize she came incredibly close to spinning $1.00. Unfortunately for her it landed on $.05 and her second spin wasn’t enough. Michael advances with $.70. That sucks. Tough start to today’s show.
The next contestant is David Lopez. Not only does he look like and have a similar build as Vito from The Sopranos, but the next item up for bid is a Pilates machine. You can’t tell me they didn’t look for the fattest contestant and call him up for this. I’ll be surprised if they don’t rig this so he wins. Well he probably won’t. It’ll need to be exactly $499 because someone bid $500 AND $501. That’s rough. What’s even worse is how this just happened. David bid his $499, and Lauren bid $501. Anne-Marie went way over that, and Jesse was last to bid. He went with $500. Yes that’s right. He sandwiched himself IN BETWEEN $499 and $501.
Needless to say, Lauren won with her bid of $501. And she’s up for a new Jeep. It’s a RallyE. I think I saw this last week and someone didn’t win it. If you remember I asked what happens to items that aren’t won. Do they get recycled? How long do they wait? I think we found our answer. I’m telling you, this Jeep, same model and color, looks eerily familiar. So does the hot model sitting in it, but I don’t think she’s part of the package.
The game is cover up. In her first shot she got every number except the middle one right. $24,X65. She has to choose between a 3, 1, or a 0. I’m going with the 3. I GOT…I mean SHE GOT IT!!! Ugh I was so excited for her and then right before they cut to commercial I heard her start to tell Drew, “You don’t know how much of a fan of this show I am…” Alright listen, you clearly like the show at least somewhat because you decided to come on it. But let’s face it, you’re only telling him this because you’re excited that you just won. Had you lost the game and not won the car, you would have walked off the stage dejected and upset and not said another word to Drew until you got to the wheel and/or the Showcase Showdown. That was completely unnecessary and I’m not rooting against her.
Next contestant is Ellen. She doesn’t know where to go. Drew is directing her down to bidder’s row. She’s wearing ALL Price is Right clothing. Drew just said, “Well we got someone at the gift shop.” Not bad. Item up for bid is snowboarding equipment. I say $800. I can’t believe what I just saw. I don’t think David knows how to play the game. Anne-Marie bid $650. Jesse bid $675. And David was asked to make a bid. He was clearly flustered. And he bid $649. You do realize that it’s the closest WITHOUT going over. So you’re telling me you think it’s exactly $649? Or are you telling me you didn’t think at all. The idiot Jesse apparently got a tutorial from the last bidding because he just won.
Jesse is going for Snowmobiles. I mean I guess it’s good David didn’t win any of this stuff, because there’s no way that fat ass can snowboard, and he’d probably tip over the snowmobiles anyway so it’d just end up being a waste of prizes. I like Jesse. Drew asked him what he does for a living and he said, “NOTHING!!!” Right on, brother. Drew then said what I normally tell people. “He’s in between jobs.” He’s playing Pick-a-Pair. He’s has to match up two items with the same price. His first two picks were way off, but he kept the soup at $1.53 and got rid of the dog toy. He matched it up with a pencil and we have a winner!
Bonnie is the next contestant on the PIR. Last item up for bid is an Espresso machine. I’ll $350? I have no idea. I feel like they’re less than $100 at Target. David just said, “I got it. I got it.” Then he thought for a minute and said $1,200. Next highest bid was $600. I love it. Actual price was $1,030. David was over. Way to bid $1,200 after the first woman bid $350. He screwed himself. As a result, Anne-Marie wins. She’s playing for a queen bed. It’s decent, a lot better than the freakin Star Wars bed set the other day. Time for Squeeze Play. The price is not $37,291. She has to get rid of the 7, 2, 9. She was wrong. Game over just like that. Second wheel coming up.
Not much to report from the wheel. Lauren won. Although Anne-Marie failed to spin the wheel an entire rotation. Just awful. She got $.15 twice and was resigned to stand there with $.30. Serves her right for failing to spin it once. It’s not that hard.
Showcase showdown, here we go. First showcase includes: a dual range? Not sure what that is, but apparently it’s self cleaning which is good. A new spa from Great Lakes spas. Couple seats, looks pretty legit. And a 58” plasma TV. Lauren passed it to Michael. He bid $11,000. That’s a little low, but I don’t think he’ll be too bad off. This second showcase could be a monster, so there’s probably a lot of room for error with Lauren.
Alright first item is a Mac computer and wireless speakers, Ipods, etc. And a trip to the Biltmore House in North Carolina. Four night stay. And another trip, a 9-day tour of the Czech Republic. That kind of sucks. Why would I want to go there? Whatever, she bid $19,000. This is going to be interesting.
Back from the break. Actual price of Michael’s showcase is $17,345. That’s tough. He probably needs her to go over. I knew $11,000 was way too low. Actual retail price of Lauren’s, $22,248. Lauren wins. Which is good. Michael sucked. See ya.
-Bess
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Keefe's Top 5 NBA Players by Position
Point Guard:
1. Chris Paul
2. Deron Williams
3. Steve Nash
4. Tony Parker
5. Baron Davis
Shooting Guard:
1. Kobe Bryant
2. Dwyane Wade
3. Joe Johnson
4. Brandon Roy
5. Vince Carter
Small Forward:
1. LeBron James
2. Paul Pierce
3. Carmelo Anthony
4. Caron Butler
5. Danny Granger
Power Forward:
1. Tim Duncan
2. Kevin Garnett
3. Chris Bosh
4. Amare Stoudemire
5. Dirk Nowitzki
Center:
1. Dwight Howard
2. Shaquille O'Neal
3. Yao Ming
4. Al Jefferson
5. Marcus Camby
What do you think?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Running blog of the PIR, Tuesday, 2/3
The contestants are just being announced for the first round of bidder’s row. No one has fallen yet, which sucks, but yesterday the first woman they called apparently didn’t realize the show was starting. They had to call her name twice. I wonder what would’ve happened if she didn’t react the second time either. Do they just move on and draw a new name? Has that ever happened before?
Okay, first item up for bid is a desktop touch screen computer. Pretty sick, Bluetooth and everything. Apparently you’ll never want to leave the house. I say $2400. Nadine goes with $1500. Too low. Rory with $1800. Okay. David with $1925 and Kristine elicits a scream from David with $1926. And Nadine wins. Wow, I’m off to a horrible start. This is incredible. Now before we go any further, yesterday I wrote that I was noticing a trend. Second prize is always a car. Okay that theory just went to shit. Nadine can win…A NEW CARRRRR! Ford Mustang, this thing looks incredible. So does the chick sitting in it. I wish that came with it.
We’re looking for a price that’s JUST over the price of the car. So Drew is going to keep giving her amounts and when she thinks that’s too much, she yells, “THAT’S TOO MUCH!” And wow, we just had a screw up. Drew was hitting a button to reveal a price, and when he hit the third button, the third AND the fifth prices both turned over. So Nadine apparently knows too much. And she’s fallen in love with the fifth price so we’re skipping over 3 and 4 and going right there. $25,981. Drew just talked her into seeing the fourth one in case and she almost bit. Let’s see what happened. She’s wrong. Wow she was way wrong. It was the third one that was over.
So here we go with the next contestant, it’s Sarah Bolin and she’s freaking out. OMG. She just jumped into Rory’s arms and they had to blur out her ass crack. That was disgusting. Sarah’s not the worst looking thing I’ve ever seen, but she’s got “more to love”, and that “more to love” was just bursting out of her jeans and into the eyes of the millions of senior citizens at home. Somewhere pacemakers are going off and grandparents everywhere are clutching their chests in horror. Second item up for bid is beach equipment from SportsStuff. Lounges to be exact. Here’s what bothers me. You’ve got this hot model laying around on this crap, and she’s wearing a wet suit. I don’t understand that at all. When would a hot chick like that ever lounge around a pool or beach in a wet suit. She’d be a bikini that looks like something I floss with every night. Actually that’s a lie. I don’t floss every night. Just ask my dentist. Although I was told that for someone who doesn’t floss I have remarkable ivories. How do you like them apples?
Kristine won. She’s cute. Definitely looks high maintenance though. And naturally she’s bidding a Jimmy Chu handbag and shoes and stereo equipment. This is a quick game. She has to determine if the prices should stay the same or be switched. She decided to switch. She’s right. Good for her. I’m not surprised. When Drew asked her she goes, “Well, it’s Jimmy Chuuuuuuu” and then said switch it. She knew the whole time. She probably just bought that shit this morning before she came. She might even be wearing Jimmy Chu right now, but her handbag is under her seat. Let's just hope her money doesn't go missing as if she left her bag hanging around at a college baseball party somewhere in Boston.
Third item up for bid is a digital camera. I’ll say $700. Terri just joined us, she goes $950. Alright Sarah is freaking out. She just $852. WTF is that. $1520 for Rory. Why not $951? Last dude bid a buck. And look at that. Rory is officially an idiot. Had he bid $951 like I said he would’ve won. Instead Terri had a short trip at bidder’s row…by default. It’s bedroom furniture. Which reminds me of a prize from yesterday that you obviously didn’t get to read about because of blogspot screwing me. The last woman to win on bidder’s row had a chance to win…get this…a StarWars themed bedroom set. I can’t believe she didn’t just walk off the stage. Honestly, what the hell is that. First off she’s a chick, second off we have no idea if she has kids, and third off, how is that a game prize. You’re telling me that someone can go on there and win a car, and this woman is trying to win a StarWars themed bedroom set? How is that even comparable? I wouldn’t told Drew forget the game, I’m just gonna go and get focused on spinning the wheel. This bedroom set is merely a distraction. Ridiculous.
Terri is playing the grocery game. She needs between $3.31 and $4.31 to win it. She’s going with the Clorox wipes. They’re $2.99. She’s screwed. The can of soup just put her over by $.21. That’s a tough way to go out. But it was only a bedroom set.
Time to spin the wheel. She barely made it around once. That’s awful. Only got $.20. Serves her right. I swear this woman has never done anything athletic in her life. She’s shaped like a bowling ball and the wheel was moving no faster than a retarded, paraplegic hamster was running on it. Nadine just rocked $.85. Solid. Kristine is up. Too much. Still hot though girl. I’d love to bang her in those Jimmy Chu’s.
So the commercial for the Grammy awards came on. I’m sick of this ad for one reason only…it ends with one of the Jonas brothers screaming, “…you babayyyy.” Am I the only one that finds these guys nauseating? They’re so terrible. They played at the NCAA football national championship game and were absolutely obnoxious. I can’t stand watching them stare into the camera like they’re hot. They’ll be nothing in two years. Take it to the bank.
Rory just won the fourth bid. Trip to St. Thomas at stake here. Rory is way too chill right now. He might still be scarred by Sarah jumping into his arms and him going to catch her but coming up with nothing but her ass cellulite. I can’t blame him, it was awful for the viewers at home and anyone sitting in the front row. Freeze frame game. I like this. So many possibilities. How much is the trip? I think it’s $6546. He just missed it. Now we’ll probably have to wait. Nope, he thinks it’s only $3695. What a retard. The crowd just booed. Well, I was wrong too. It was the next number coming up.
Fifth bidding here. Basketball jerseys and equipment. Portable hoop in there, six jerseys. Sorry eight jerseys. Drew can’t count. Ryan is new to the game, he bid $450. Are you kidding? It’s not a freaking huffy hoop pal. Jesus, Sarah just won. She’s going nuts. I can’t tell if she’s on something or just a loser. Christ it’s a new car. She’s just dropped to the ground and started doing the bicycle. She then jumped in Drew’s arms. No ass this time. I think CBS made her pull her shirt down and tuck it in. Which was considerate. Someone definitely said something to her. She keeps pulling her shirt down. It can’t go down any further at this point, but she keeps pulling on it. Now she’s gyrating. The last thing she should do is gyrate. It’s not flattering. The game is Gas Money. I don’t get this at all. Apparently she has a group of prices, and she has to avoid picking the price of the car. And she just guessed the price of the car. She lost her money and the car. Tough luck. And she just asked if she gets to spin the wheel. Seriously? No Sarah, sorry, you’re the first person in the history of PIR that won a bid and played a game, but won’t get to spin the wheel.
I love these Hillshire Farm commercials, by the way. Everytime I see one I end up chanting the jingle at the end. “When I say Hillshire you say Farm…Hillshire, Farm, GO MEAT!!!” Great stuff. Check out a couple of my favorites below…
Check out the guy pitting at the :20 mark of this next one.
Last item for bid is a hammock. Not even sure. Highest bid is $600. I say $601. And I won. Just in the nick of time. Ryan won. He’s pitting hard. He wore a dark shirt to hide it but it’s not saving him. I can’t wait to see him spin the wheel. I hope he has full moons by then. It’s tough though. He’s just resting his hands on his hips and you can see it. Those might be full moons already. I don’t even care about the game right now, I can’t stop looking at his pits. Oh man just caught a closeup. Those moons are so full. He just lost. Whatever. I only care about the wheel coming up. This is going to be awesome when he raises his arms. I wonder if he’ll ask for a new shirt. I totally would. I’m not even sure what I’d do in his position. Do you try spinning the wheel with a low starting position? He’ll look like an idiot, but I guess you have to determine what will look worse, a pathetic spin or full moon pit stains. You know I think I’d just rock the full moons. There can’t be any greater thrill than absolutely ripping that wheel. I wonder what the record is for rotations around. I’d find out and try and break it. It’s gotta be at least five. Women spin it two with ease, so a real man must be able to get like six or seven.
Alright back from commercial, here we go…
He went with the latter and gave it a half ass raise. You can tell he knows he’s pitting, he definitely did it real quick and got his arms down as fast as he could. But it worked out, he got $.85. That’s solid out of first position. See Rory had the right idea. He’s wearing a loose zip down sweatshirt. He could be pitting tremendously in that grey shirt he’s wearing underneath, but we’ll never know. And you know what? Rory just received a compliment from Drew on his spin. It was ridiculous. First one went around almost five times. I played it back to count, came up short but still strong. Second one barely got four, but still, if Drew is giving you props, you must’ve done something solid. Maybe seven is a bit optimistic, but I bet I could definitely get five, maybe six if I get into it. Rory didn’t look all that big, so I think I should be able to take him, I’d probably get six. Yea I’d definitely get six. But Ryan held on, so him and his moons are heading to the showcase showdown against Nadine.
Showcase 1:
Inflatable kayak. I’m already passing this. Again, the model is wearing a swimsuit, but now she has a life vest on. This is downright rude. Nice shot of her treasure chest but we can’t see anything upstairs. It’s frustrating. Alright this just got better, two off-road motorcycles. Oh wow, a Nissan Extera. Alright what’s the theme here? I don’t get it. Outdoor transportation? The kayak sucks. I feel like that was a Mike Lowell toss-in. Wow she just passed it. This bitch wants to travel. What an idiot. I’m bidding $31,000. Ryan bid $29,000.
Showcase 2:
A set of golf clubs. Nadine can’t golf. She’s too fat. She’ll be lucky to be able to putt, never mind hit a driver off the first tee. A trip to Pebble Beach with a round of golf with caddy and cart and a golf pro. Pretty cool, but again, Nadine can’t golf. They should have sent her to a mini-golf course. A nice one though. And now she’s getting a trip to St. Andrew’s and a round of golf there. What a waste of a showcase. She won’t even use this. She bid $35,000. Did I miss a car in there somewhere? Nadine might be double the actual price of the showcase. She must be mailing it in, that’s horrible. I can’t wait to see how far off she is. I’m going $16,000. Watch me.
Alright here we go…actual price of Ryan’s showcase is $33,452. I was close. I’m money. Nadine…here it is…actual retail price of her showcase IS…$20,486. Unbelievable. She didn’t quite double down, but that was horrible. So Ryan and his pit stains win. He’s jumping up and down right now but refuses to raise his arms, he officially looks like a fruitcake. He needs to just cope with the fact that those pit stains are awful and embrace them, because he’s now sacrificing his integrity on national television. Wow, he’s keeping his arms so close to his body. This is awful. It’s finally over, thank god it was getting hard to watch.
Now the other day I wrote about the chick who bid $12,098 for the one person outdoor sauna and dubbed it the worst bid in the history of PIR. In a way, I was right, b/c it certainly had to be the worst bid ever on bidder’s row. But in the showcase, check this out. If I’ve posted this before, I don’t apologize, because it’s that good. This guy was so flustered. Bob was getting frustrated and even told him to “think about that.” And I loved what Gay did after that. That’s a chick who knows what she’s doing. Enjoy…
-Bess
Monday, February 2, 2009
Legends of Wrestlemania Ideal Roster
Next month "Legends of Wrestlemania" will be released for XBOX 360 and PS3 gaming devices. The premise of the game is to "Relive," "Rewrite," and "Redefine," matches from Wrestlemania from the 1980's and 90's. This is perfect. I own Raw vs. Smackdown 07 for 360. Shark and I thought we'd play this like we did wrestling games in high school, it was definitely fun, except we had to unlock all the guys we'd heard of. I don't watch the stuff anymore, and there are some hold overs... like your Shawn Michaels and Undertakers, but the most of the best have moved on... either retirement or more commonly death.
That is why "Legends of Wrestlemania" has the chance to be the best game wrestling game not on SEGA or N64. They have released some of the playable characters but not a full list as of yet. The rumor is 40. I have come up with my ideal roster, it does not include managers like Bobby "the Brain" Heenan or commentators, hard to go wrong with JR, King, Vince, Gorilla, Ventura, some combo. Here are the guys I want to see in the game...
1. Hulk Hogan
2. Andre the Giant
3. Ultimate Warrior
4. Roddy Piper
5. Mr. Wonderful
6. King Kong Bundy
7. Macho Man (Macho King) Randy Savage
8. Ted DiBiase
9. Sergeant Slaughter
10. Undertaker
11. Bret Hart
12. Shawn Michaels
13. Yokozuna
14. Diesel
15. Razor Ramon
16. Triple H
17. Bam Bam Bigelow
18. Sycho Sid
19. Stone Cold
20. The Rock
21. Mankind (Mick Foley)
22. Hawk
23. Animal
24. Iron Shiek
25. Rick Rude
26. Mr. Perfect
27. Ric Flair
28. Jake the Snake Roberts
29. Rick the Model Martel
30. Brutus Beefcake
31. Jim Neidhart
32. Demolition
33. Honky Tonk Man
34. Big Boss Man
35. Owen Hart
36. Earthquake
37. Rickey Steamboat
38. Junkyard Dog
39. British Bulldog
40. Adam Bomb
-Keefe
...these guys are wrestling...
Sunday, February 1, 2009
UFC 94 Results
Lyoto Machida def. Thiago Silva by first-round knockout**
Jon Jones def. Stephan Bonnar by unanimous decision
Karo Parisyan def. Dong Hyun Kim by split decision
Clay Guida def. Nate Diaz by split decision
Undercard:
Jon Fitch def. Akihiro Gono by unanimous decision
Dan Cramer def. Matt Arroyo by split decision
Jake O'Brien def. Christian Wellisch by split decision
John Howard def. Chris Wilson by split decision
Thiago Tavares def. Manny Gamburyan by unanimous decision
*GSP and Penn fought a pretty even 1st round, with the advantage to St. Pierre, but the next 3 rounds were all GSP. The welterweight champ took B.J. down and did some serious ground and pound. Penn has probably never been in the position his entire career. Give him credit for surviving 3 rounds of beating by St. Pierre. At the end of the 4th round the doctors looked at Penn and the Hawaiin's corner said enough is enough.
When the fight was over Thiago Alves went in the ring. Therefore those who wanted another super fight of GSP vs. Anderson Silva will have to wait at least as long as a St. Pierre vs. Alves fight.
**This was as close to a buzzer beater as you could get. Of course if Machinda didn't make the Knockout Shot he just would have gone to round 2, but just a tick before the clock sounded Lyoto landed a damaging blow to Silva. The ref went in to say the 1st round was over, but alas so was Thiago's night.
UFC 94 will be remembered for the super fight and the super performance of St. Pierre against Penn. But look at all those decisions and split decisions at that. Certainly Karo Parisyan and Clay Guida should both be thankful for their results. They could have easily been losers. Pretty good card overall though, February will provide some free fights, with a Fight Night and UFC 95. Nothing jumps out at me. Diego for Stevenson I guess.
Keep reading the Brief, and spread the word. Send us an e-mail as well. Besse and I would like to get a "mail-bag" type thing going as well.