On
a scale of 1 to the fella above (image courtesy wwe.com,) I’m probably somewhere in the middle with my
wrestling nerd level. I have the
network, watch Raw every Monday and I’ve been to my share of live sports
entertainment recently. It’s borderline
sad, and it’s scary, and my wife would probably tell you it’s legitimate
grounds for separation. Since April
2013, I’ve attended Wrestlemania 29 (MetLife Stadium), Survivor Series (TD
Garden), TNA Hardcore Justice (Lowell Memorial Auditorium), Extreme Rules (Izod
Center), and Money in the Bank (TD Garden.)
Yes, you read that correctly, I attended a TNA pay-per-view in person…and
I have driven to New Jersey twice to see WWE PPV’s in person. There’s one constant at every WWE event (and most TNA events) and that’s a live
crowd. At live wrestling events, you’re
going to meet tons of interesting people…and I’m here to tell you about five of
the ones I’ve met in the last year plus:
CM
Drunk/Wrestlemania:
At
the 7 hour tailgate before Wrestlemania 29, our party happened to park in the
vicinity of a bunch of Chicagoans in town for the grand-daddy of them all. My favorite was a completely intoxicated CM
Punk fan, dressed from head to toe in Punk ring regalia. The irony being that Punk’s a vocal straight-edge
sober guy, and this dude could barely stand at about 4pm. (Side-note:
I’m pretty sure his buddy was supposed to be Colt .45 Cabana.) The pre-Wrestlemania crowd was one of the
highlights of my adult life. Instead of
NFL pre-game shows blaring from every radio, it was old wrestling theme songs. Instead of footballs being thrown around, it
was amateurs practicing their favorite wrestler’s finishing move on their
buddy. The whole scene was fantastic.
Bored
Guy/Survivor Series:
Self reporting. This "fan" is me and my buddy Pete (@petechinmusic), who I attend most of these events
with. If your memory serves you,
Survivor Series was the same night as last season’s Brady/Manning matchup on
Sunday Night Football. We spent half the
night enjoying the good matches (Punk and Bryan as tag partners against the
Wyatts, Roman Reigns’ udder destruction of the one classic Survivor Series
match) and the other half trying to find a way to illegally stream the football
game off of our phones. I’ve never seen
a deader crowd than this. The entire
crowd was buried on their phones all night trying to keep track of the football
game.
TNA
Superfan/Hardcore Justice:
Attended
this show solely because I figured I’d see blood, tables, Tommy Dreamer, and I could
literally sit front row for 39 dollars.
I couldn’t have been more surprised at the quality of the show. However, there was this dude sitting next to
us who wanted to tell you ALL NIGHT LONG about how TNA was incredibly better
than WWE. This guy was completely
convinced that the entertainment value of seeing Abyss botch every single move
he attempted was still better than watching any Punk/Bryan/Shield/Wyatt
match. We get it, there might be a bit
more violence and a different style of wrestling…but for chrissakes it’s
TNA. He also told us it was “no big deal”
that they were taping a pay-per-view, and that we had to be removed from our
seats in order for the ring crew to construct the cage for the final match
(because “the ring staff are new at this and we don’t want them to drop the
cage on your heads.”) Yeah, it was a bit
amateur hour but seeing Kurt Angle rip open Bobby Roode’s leg with a cheese
grater was fun. (Fun fact: TNA Superfan guy was wearing Jeff Hardy arm
bands.)
Sad
Cena Kid/Extreme Rules:
ECW
chants all night long, and biggest pop of the night for Paul E and Rob Van Dam? Yeah, you’re in Jersey. The 240 lb elephant in the WWE has been John
Cena for the better part of two decades.
The kids and marks love him, the internet fans hate him. So when we found our seats and saw a five
year old with his dad in the row in front of us…we sort of assumed he was a
Cena superfan. When Bray defeated him in
their extremely entertaining cage match, this kid LITERALLY broke into
tears. Tears to the point where his dad
had to remove him from the event.
Jackpot…seats to put my feet up on.
The
Two Virgins/Money in the Bank:
Went
to a few bars before heading into MITB last month. One of the more enjoyable afternoons I’ve had
this year…but it all got interrupted once we reached our second stop and two 40
year olds sidled up next to my group and would not shut up. These two reminded me of getting onto an
airplane…and the guy sitting next to you has no book, no newspaper, no
headphones and he immediately reaches for the SkyMall magazine. The bar we were at was showing old Royal
Rumbles on its’ tv’s throughout…and the bar crowd was quite into it. Doing the countdowns, cheering faces, booing
heels, the whole bit. These two guys
(who I can only assume have never been in the company of another consensual
adult) had the entire Rumble entry order memorized, were calling all the spots,
and generally took the vibe from “hey this is fun” to “I’m really uncomfortable
and now I’m afraid I’m going to end this night tied up in a basement full of
fan memorabilia.” Also, one guy had a
Wrestlemania 27 plaque he bought off e-bay for $1.99 that he wanted to get
autographed by Daniel Bryan. Yeah, I bet
that happened.
Bonus
Entry - The New World Order/Wrestlemania:
A
pack of fellas partying out of the back of a Dodge mom van. EVERYONE in some sort of nWo shirt. There were people of all races, colors and
creeds…and they were more than happy to accept us into their Mania tailgate for
a beer. I’m pretty sure I heard Spanish,
Portuguese and Dothraki being spoken…and no one was happier to share a beer
with us on our way in. And just for reporting purposes…the black
guy was in a nWo Wolfpac shirt, the white guy in a Blue World Order shirt, the Hispanic
guy in a Latino World Order shirt.
Something about it just felt so gimmicky I thought that Vince Russo was
booking the whole scene.
No comments:
Post a Comment