Reindeer Power Rankings

9. DONNER

Bad father, was ashamed of Rudolph's gifts.  Also there's variously spellings/ pronunciations for Donner including Dunder (German for Thunder and Donder).  If they can't get the name right, how good is he really?  (The only positive for Donner, of course, is that his sperm help create Rudolph.)

8. BLIXEN

Another one where his name is sometimes different including Blitzen.  So I believe his real name is Blixen which is German for Lightning.  So he and Donner were a bit of a team, no thanks.  But then because he has a drinking problem people would call him BLITZEN... hence the low ranking.

7. CUPID

Named after the Roman god of erotic love.  These other reindeer, you hear there name and you think reindeer.  Certainly more his parents fault.  No even close to the most well known Cupid. 

6. COMET 

Coach Comet... one of the best fliers in the field, but also, like Donner and Santa for that matter, he is a real piece of work.  Comet is the one that says, Rudolph won't be playing anymore "reindeer games."  I wonder if the Coach is necessary the best guy, or is he serving a punishment.  Plus how about some HUMBLE REINDEER PIE when they need Rudolph to lead the way. 

5. RUDOLPH

Clutch.  He's best when the night is on the line.  Led the sleigh his 1st Christmas on the team.  He was the bigger reindeer and did not dwell on the hurtful things Comet and his father said to him.  Not sure how he did it.  He'd be higher on this list, but think of all the years they DIDN'T need him?  Throw in the flashlight technology now and his nose is pretty useless.  But I appreciate the clutchness and feel for the big stage.  

4. DANCER

Kind of like A Boy Named Sue... Dancer had to hear about his name all his live, it made him tough, he, like Sue, also went back years later and murdered his father.  Maybe the best cage fighter on the team, solid flier, and amazing dancer.   

3. VIXEN

It's a man's game, but here's Vixen, the only lady on the sleigh.  Santa took the 8 and then 9 best reindeer IN THE WORLD... and only one female made the cut and it was Vixen.  When she goes into heat... you better lock the stable.  

2. PRANCER 

Actually has his own movie, so there had to be something there.  Long time member of the team, he got in a traffic accident in his movie, way past his prime, but when he was right, there wasn't anyone better at pulling a sleigh than Prancer.

1    1. DASHER

1st name mentioned in the song.  And when Coach Comet is starting his lessons he singles out Dasher's son... probably thinking this is gonna be the next guy...