Bachelor Recap: Checkmate for Kaitlyn

As a 5th grader at Sgt. William H. Carney Academy, I was a member of the school's chess club. I spent most of the year ranked in the top-5 and at one point took down the #1 ranked player in the school. Very talented. Needless to say, I've played a lot of chess in my day. So last night, I knew the exact feeling Kaitlyn had when she saw Becca and Chris emerge together after he had taken her away to chat at the rose ceremony. It was like that moment in a chess game where things are going along just fine and then, in an instant, just as your opponent reaches for a piece, you realize you're fucked. You see the move clear as day, wonder how the fuck you missed it in the first place, and are left piecing life back together lamenting at how it all went so wrong, so fast.





That reaction said it all. Knight to King 4, checkmate.

And oddly enough, ABC took the drama right out of it. At this point we all knew Becca was moving on. Why would Chris have brought her back to the ceremony if he didn't plan on giving her a rose? That's why I was surprised when the first name he stated was Whitney. It took the theater right out of it. We knew Becca was getting one. Why not knock her off first, then let us sweat out a possible change of heart on Whitney. But it didn't happen. I'll question that move for a while.

In last week's blog I mentioned that Becca was playing the Virgin thing perfectly, waiting until this week before using it as her "Get out jail free card". Chris couldn't send her home with the risk of looking like a prick. She was two steps ahead, playing chess while the others play checkers. And tonight was her Bobby Fischer moment. It was incredible to watch her wait until the very last moment. Like Lumberg waiting until 5pm on Friday to tell Peter to work on Saturday.




You expected it to happen and for a while nothing did. And then finally, just when you thought it might not happen, it did. And then it was over. And honestly, I felt let down. I expected so much more out of it, so many more tears, consoling, questioning everything, whether people were there for the right reasons. A long walk on the beach looking out at the water telling us how confused he was. Something, anything. But instead we got a brief pause and a thank you. And it was over.

Overall I thought the episode was pretty boring. Kaitlyn and Chris played with monkeys and she accepted the invite into the fantasy suite. We knew she would. She was the one that talked about test driving the car w/ Kimmel.

Whitney's date was fine. She looked like an absolute dime thanks to a recent spray tan, and they did the obligatory jump off the boat into the water. When it came time to dinner, Chris pressed her with more serious, long-term questions. We didn't see this with Kaitlyn, so it was definitely an indication of where he viewed the two relationships. And if this was a test, Whitney aced it...

“Life takes you places. It’s now where you are, it’s who you’re with.” will soon enter the pantheon of all-time great quotes overused by women.

I mean what a move by Whitney here. You've got Chris underselling Arlington as hard as he can, giving her every out, and she basically calls his bluff. Drops that quote on him and essentially says here's my fertile soil, plant your seed, Prince Farming.

Becca's date was boring. But she's been boring all season, so this was no surprise. I caught up on social media and played Words With Friends while listening and waiting for the V chat.

After the dates, we saw Chris grapple with the difficult decision, discussing it with CBH over a glass of iced tea. No surprise here considering Chris told all three women he was falling in love with them. Am I the only who found this somewhat absurd? What happened to The Bachelor(ette) being prohibited from divulging this, I thought it was against Bachelor rules?

Anyway, Whitney and Becca survived and Kaitlyn is a virtual lock to be the next Bachelorette. I don't see how it can be anyone else. She's smoking hot, that lipstick she was wearing tonight was pure fire, and she's got the personality to carry the season. And she left Becca hanging after getting dumped.

Even Chris felt uncomfortable seeing that one.

Women Tell All next week. Should be a great way to take the week off, recharge our engines and prep for the final in two weeks. Sticking to my theory that Whitney takes the crown.

P.S. Tonight marked the anniversary of Sean breaking up with AshLee in Thailand. To me, still the greatest breakup in the history of The Bachelor franchise. This was AshLee's finest hour and lowest moment wrapped into one. We'll never see her as hot as she was that night. Nor will we ever see a woman burn through a man with eyes like that again. Relive it again for old time's sake.